Keep company with fools? Fall with them

(Venerable Gotami) Leads loving-kindness (metta) meditation makes us happier and nicer

Who's really enlightened? (Doug's Dharma)

Meet Buddhism's Creator and Savior

(Larry King) Hindu Sankhya philosophy, Jain, Buddhist

Great Brahmā (as understood in Buddhism) - Tibetan Buddhist Encyclopedia

Does Buddhism have a creator? Yes. What about a savior? Yes, that, too, sort of

"God" has a sense of humor (Far Side).

Recently, Ven. Subhuti, a student of the awakened scholar-monk Pa Auk Sayadaw, made a video explaining a common question he gets asked as an American Buddhist monk in the West:

“Do you believe in a creator?” It is a loaded question usually asked by devoted Christians. They are expecting him to say “No,” but he answers, “Yes.”

Dyeus: The Proto-Indo-European "Sky Father"

Buddhism and the God-Idea

The real answer is that karma [kamma, deeds, intentional actions of body, speech, and mind, all that we sow and can expect to reap] is the creator [of our lives, our circumstances, our fruit, what we get].

He quotes a stock phrase from the Pali canon, Theravada Buddhism's canonical texts recorded in the lingua franca (common language) the Buddha spoke:

Kammassakomhi, kammadāyādo, kammayoni,

“It is my actions (deeds) that I own, it is my actions that I am heir to, it is my actions that I am born from,

I'll leave this one in the Garden.

kammabandhu, kammapaṭisaraṇo --

“Actions are my kinsfolk, actions are my guide --

yaṁ kammaṁ karissāmi, kalyāṇaṁ vā pāpakaṁ vā,

Whatever actions I perform, whether skillful or unskillful,

tassa dāyādo bhavissāmī ti.

“to that will I be heir.”

pabbajitena abhiṇhaṁ paccavekkhitabbaṁ.

“One who has gone forth [from home into the left-home life of a Buddhist monastic] should frequently reflect on this.”

• If by karma we are "created," so it is by karma that we are "saved." Therefore, in that sense, our karma (our deeds) are our savior:

No one saves us but ourselves

No one can and no one may;

We ourselves must walk the Path;

Buddhas only point the way.

COMMENTARY

Wisdom Quarterly

Buddhist Publication Society

Does that mean that there is a God in Buddhism? There are many Gods (brahmas) and gods (devas) in Buddhism, none quite fitting the exaggerated description of the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Judeo-Christian conception, except perhaps the Gnostic Christian view. But karma fits the omni-description.

Buddhism is nontheistic as well as polytheistic. How? Nontheism is not atheism. Theism is the certainty that there is some all-powerful God as imagined by monotheists; atheism is the certainty that there is not.

Nontheism, by distinction to both of these extremes, says that whether there is a God or whether there is not has no bearing on one's own awakening, enlightenment, and liberation (ultimate salvation). Why?

The gods and Gods themselves are not free. The Buddha excelled the Gods in that sense, and many of them (such as Maha Brahma and Baka Brahma) knew it, as hard as it was to believe. The Buddha is not worshiped, is not now sitting in his heaven welcoming and excluding souls. It's nothing like that.

But it is curious that Christians say things that are true without knowing it, such as: "God works in mysterious ways." Nothing could be more true of the working out of KARMA (actions begetting reactions, small causes and their exponential effects, deeds and their resultants).

The working out of karma is imponderable and is not mocked. "God is not mocked," it is said, but the Jewish/Christian God is mocked all the time. What is not mocked is karma, in the sense that both are given credit for producing results appropriate to actions.

Whatever is done, it is seen. It does not go unseen. And there are results, for the most part with some exceptions. (Not every action has to produce a result, e.g., if the soil upon which a seed was planet becomes barren, i.e., if a person becomes fully enlightened and therefore no longer liable any further results after this life).

God can be bargained with to avoid or modify some results. Karmic resultants are modified by other karma (actions). One easy way to understand this is given in an ancient example.

Freshwater naturally dilutes saltwater

Let's say a person were living a fairly good life but then did something very grave and wrong. That person could be compared to a cup with water in it that is now spiked with salt. How can that bitter saltiness ever be removed (the "sin forgiven")? While it can't be removed, it can be diluted.

The solution to saltiness is not removing salt but adding more fresh water. That will dilute it and make it less salty. Having done one "wrong," one might do many "rights" to compensate for it.

It'd be magic if salt disappeared

If one does many little wrongs, that also makes the cup salty and hard to swallow. Doing many little rights and some big ones, too, will be very helpful for the long future of drinking. We imagine there's only this life, but there are many more.

Karma is the creator (of our lives, our circumstances, our environment), the orchestrator, the chooser, the Generator, Operator, and Destroyer (G.O.D.)

Unlike Maha Brahma (the "Great Supremo") or the countless devas (celestial and terrestrial "shining ones"), all faring along according to their karma, it would be wise to engage in the karma that makes an end of all karma, that brings suffering to a final end, that results in knowing-and-seeing.

Why? "Karma, it's everywhere you're going to be."

• The symbolism and significance of the mighty God Brahma (Wordzz)
• Bhikkhu Subhuti (AmericanMonk.org, Feb. 3, 2025); Dhr. Seven and Sayalay Aloka (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly COMMENTARY

Karma of LUCK, Chinese New Year

Chinese dance tidbits: The dragon serpent dances of China (Fordney Foundation)

Gong xi fa cai and Xin nian kuai le are both good say. - Really? Now I can speak Chinese!

.

If the dragon is happy, we're all happy.

Chinese New Year, perhaps the most widely celebrated holiday in the world, typically takes place in January or February, after the Gregorian New Year on January 1st.

Whether spending it in Chinatown or in China, knowing how to wish people a happy new year in the local tongue is a nice touch. Feliz ano nuevo is the way it is said in Los Angeles, where Latin Americans surround Chinatown in all directions.

Come the big day, families and friends will be feasting, partaking in centuries-old superstitions, and spending time together to celebrate the Chinese Lunar New Year (the Spring Festival).

Orange County Supervisor Nguyen blasts Do

With vibrant celebrations taking place from Sydney to San Francisco, there are plenty of opportunities to pay respects and well wishes to the Chinese, especially with customary greetings.

• Ex-Supervisor Andrew Do left no money for Orange County's Vietnamese Tet Festival this year (OC Register)

About Chinese New Year

Asian look is in: Chinese. Japanese, Singaporean

Chinese New Year is a massive, international celebration. With people scattered around the planet observing the Lunar New Year, there are sure to be fireworks, parades, and street fairs in nearly every major city.

Although the first few days are the most observed, Chinese New Year actually runs for 15 consecutive days and ends with the Lantern Festival. Preparations take place for weeks in advance to ensure that this period is filled with luck and prosperity (two things the Chinese value immensely).

Karma, not chance, causes luck?

• 

  Hello, venerable sir, I'm a lucky dragon.

  What is the cause of "luck," Buddha? - It is karma as the great arbitrator and distributor of what is wished for, welcome, and experienced as pleasant. - But which karma (deeds, intentional actions)? - Keeping the Five Precepts and engaging in the Ten Courses of Wholesome Conduct. - And what is the cause of doing these skillful actions? - It is confidence (faith, saddha) or right view or direct knowledge of things. (We may not have right view, but we can go for guidance (not refuge like everyone mistranslates it) to Three Resources that do: the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the (Noble) Sangha. - Is there more to being lucky? - Giving (dana), sharing, letting go, benefitting others, these things do a person great good. - How much good, Buddha? - If beings knew, as I know, the power of giving, they would not eat a meal without first sharing if there were anyone with whom to share it. Such is the power of giving and benefitting others.

• 

  Start with just these three things.

  I said to the monks at the Sri Lankan Buddhist temple, "I need good karma. What is the best way of making skillful karma?" They acted like they had never heard this question before but finally answered with two slogans, dana, sila, bhavana ("generosity, virtue, meditation") for laypeople and sila, samadhi, panna ("virtue, stillness, and wisdom") for more serious and intensive practitioners willing to do it. Notice that both share sila or virtue in common as a vital ingredient.

This is a time for family and lots of food. Firecrackers are thrown in abundance to frighten away unlucky spirits, and red is worn, even red underwear, because of its symbolic meaning.

Children receive small gifts and money in red envelopes called lai see, and various historical figures are honored.

• "Chinese" is not really a language because there is official Mandarin and the older Cantonese, which is closer to Japanese than it is to Chinese, our Chinese professor astounded us by revealing. Could it be true? If someone is speaking Cantonese or Japanese, they will soon get a sense of what the other is saying, but the Mandarin speaker remains in the dark.

"Happy New Year" in Mandarin

Prosperity breeds prosperity, so get lucky.

Unlike Western New Year's Eve celebrations, which tend to be about short-lived resolutions [ending tend days in on QUITTERS DAY] to improve ourselves, the primary goal of Chinese New Year traditions is to usher in good luck and prosperity in the new year.

With such vast variations in Chinese culture and ethnic groups around the world, there are many ways to say "happy new year" in Chinese. Most of them are rooted in luck and financial success.

• Gong xi fa cai is pronounced "gong zee fah tsai," where gong xi means "congratulations" and is also a way to wish one joy. Fa cai is "to become rich or make money." In essence, one is wishing one joy and prosperity to another for the new year. Business owners and workmates use gong xi fa cai as the usual way to say "happy new year" in Chinese.
• Xin nian kuai le is pronounced "sheen neean kwai luh," kuai le means "happy" or "joyous," and xin nian means "new year." Xin nian kuai le is a great way to say happy new year in Chinese to friends without referencing money.

"Happy New Year" in Cantonese

Are good and bad luck mere superstitions?

Cantonese is the language primarily spoken by the people of [business-minded, former imperial British colony] Hong Kong.

• The Cantonese "happy new year" greeting differs slightly from the Mandarin version, even though both are actually written the same way.
• Gong hey fat choy is the Cantonese pronunciation of Mandarin's gong xi fa cai, simply meaning "congratulations and prosperity."

• Greg Rodgers, thoughtco.com, How to Say Happy New Year in Chinese; CC Liu, Pat Macpherson (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Moon is weird, really. It does not make sense

Compilation: The Moon is weird, no, really. The Moon does not make sense

(The Why Files) July 20, 2024: Brought to you by the Hecklefish Moriarity for President campaign. Hecklefish: The Hero We Deserve. shop.thewhyfiles.com/collecti...

Moon Goddess Soma, Chandra, Luna

The Moon, Earth's constant companion, harbors secrets that challenge everything we think we know. This compilation explores mind-bending theories of the Moon's true nature and purpose. From claims of hollow interiors to allegations of being the home of alien bases, these ideas push the boundaries of conventional wisdom. Experts and researchers present evidence suggesting the moon might be artificially constructed or even a cosmic prison. Ancient myths and modern scientific anomalies intertwine, painting a picture of a lunar landscape filled with mystery. Some theorists propose the moon affects human behavior in ways we've yet to fully comprehend. Let's explore the Apollo missions, extraterrestrial involvement, and the Moon's role in human history. You're about to see the Moon in an entirely new light. #MoonMystery #LunarConspiracy #CosmicSecrets

Uposatha: The Lunar Observance

It is great karma and merit to observe it.

An Uposatha (Sanskrit Upavasatha) day is a Buddhist day of observance, often called a "fasting day," though one eats until noon and not the rest of the time until the next day. It has been in existence since before the Buddha's time (600 BCE) and is still being kept today by Buddhist practitioners [1, 2].

The Buddha taught that the Uposatha day is for "the cleansing of the defiled mind/heart," resulting in inner calm and joy [3]. On this day, both lay and ordained members of the spiritual community or sangha intensify their practice, deepen their knowledge of Buddhism, and express communal commitment through millennia-old acts of lay-monastic reciprocity.

On these days, the lay followers make a conscious effort to keep the Eight Precepts or as the tradition suggests the Ten Precepts rather than the regular Five Precepts kept all the rest of the time. It is a day for practicing the Buddha's teachings and meditation. More

EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Gino Gentile Jennifer Gentile AJ Gentile Patreon Members THANK YOU MODS: jengen13 (Mrs. Why Files) Victoria Young The Hybrid Paul Rohrbaugh Mischief Timothy Weal Messor SnowCrash RobinSparkles BeezySmeezy TrashPanda SmarmyNarwhal MaryJaneMcweed AC Sanzel DarkLighter Original Jim The Why Files Theme Lyrics by @straightjacketspaceman9223

How Sex Changed the Internet (video)

Jen Bradford (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Seth Auberon, Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Bradford Theatres, March 15, 2011; Larry Mantle, AirTalk (scpr.org, 11/17/22)

Avenue Q: "The Internet is for Porn"

(Bradford Theatres) After nearly five years of mischief, bad behavior, and political incorrectness, London's funniest show by far hit the road and came to The Alhambra for one week only. "THE BEST MUSICAL OF THE DECADE" screams the Sunday Times. See bradford-theatres.co.uk for details and age suitability. See also Amanda Rodriguez.

• AUDIO: Karen Bass becomes first female LA mayor; FDA approves LAB grown flesh; How the Internet Changed Sex

How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex: An Unexpected History

Author Samantha Cole, Host Larry Mantle, AirTalk (KPCC.org/SCPR.org, 11/17/22)

Now Naga monsters are perverting earthlings

From the moment there was an “online,” there was sex online. The famous test image used by software engineers to develop formats like the jpeg was “Lena,” taken from Playboy’s November 1972 centerfold.

Early bulletin boards and multi-user domains quickly came to serve their members' sexual musings. Facebook started as a way to rate “hot or not” Harvard co-eds.

In fact, virtually every significant development that defines the Internet we know and love (and hate) today — privacy issues, government surveillance, corporate individual spying and mass data collection (to then hand that data over to government agencies for the asking), online payments and online banking, dating, social media, streaming technology, mass data collection — came out of the meeting of sexuality and technology.

The kicker is, not only did sexuality vastly influence the Internet, but the Internet arguably changed modern human sexuality by giving every imaginable non-heteronormative community a place to explore, fantasize, thrive, and be accepted and out.

Maria Louise Ciccone aka the future "Madonna"

A lively history, filled with broad themes and backstories, pioneering personalities and eureka-moments, How the Internet Changed Sex... is a short, serious, and highly entertaining look at the intertwining convergence of sex and the Internet.

Written by Samantha Cole, who’s been on this beat as a senior writer for Vice, How the Internet Changed Sex... covers everything from:

• Jennicam (remember her?) to the problem of “deep fakes”;
• “A Brief History of Online Dating” to how the government has been trying to reckon with NSFW content;
• cybersex to what VR (virtual reality) spaces like the Metaverse holds for future of human sexual interactions.

Porn is just one part of the story. Rather, this is a story about human nature during the digital gold rush of the last fifty years. More

Purity Police BLAST Wisdom Quarterly

Submitted by Jen Bradford (Dharma Buddhist Meditation)*, Ashley Wells (ed.), Wisdom Quarterly

In the name of "moral purity" something has to be done: Let's destroy art (New Statesman)

OK Boomer: Why we need to cancel 'cancel culture' (Farah Ibrahim/cairoscene.com)

.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

This letter comes in from an irate British reader, whom we shall call "Mr. A," although his real name is George Jackson, 32A Milton Avenue, Houndslow, Middlesex, Telelphone 01 246 8047 (Monty Python's "Mouse Problem").

As the self-appointed Morality Police in Charge of Purity and Vice in Western Publications Alleging to be Buddhist, Mr. Jackson has a COMPLAINT:

Hey, this cartoon's inappropriate! Cancel it!

[Feel free to agree, disagree, or add your own comments, complaints, or compliments in the Comments Section below.]

The following are recent titles of articles published by Wisdom Quarterly: American Buddhist Journal (wisdomquarterly.com):

• "Chasing the Phallus," Bhutan (2022 doc)”
• "Penis worship in US and Buddhist Bhutan"
• "The Vagina Museum, England"

Chasing the Phallus video still (Bhutan, 2022)

In the first article, I disagree with the vulgarity of the photo attached. [It shows four Bhutanese Buddhist pieces of penis art, shown here].

In the second, I disagree with the vulgarity of the song [by American singer Kate Leah] it links to:

Vulgar: "10 Things I Hate About You"

TRIGGER WARNING: Ms. Leah utters an unacceptable expletive [F-word] referring to intercourse!

We say [Richard] all day long, but try to say

In the third, the article [about the world's first female-run, body-positive, pro-feminist "Vagina Museum"] references a "Femigani Workshop."

Here are some of the lines from that article: "Femigami specializes in hosting playful and thought-provoking workshops using the art of origami to create unconventional paper creations (including vaginas and penises)."

"Workshop attendees have ranged from 10 to 80 years old (no one is too young or old to enjoy making Femigami!)" I disagree with children being exposed to such [dangerous, vulgar, body-positive] content!

Gendered violence is wrong.

Another article, "10 Things I Hate About You" [new Kate Leah music video] references the Heath Ledger film 10 Things I Hate About You.]

In that film, violence against men and boys is trivialized; as a male victim of female-perpetrated violence, I disagree with the film being given any platform. [As a rom-com for teens, it should be canceled, banned, and removed from critics' Top 10 lists of popular American comedies!]

Banned by Vice Squad (eBay)

If these articles were, for example, simply a matter of disagreement on grounds such as religion (theism vs. atheism), or political persuasion (Democrat vs. Republican), etc. then I would not have an objection to having my own articles published by Wisdom Quarterly. [But I won't allow them the privilege of broadcasting my voice and views unless they take down these three articles. Otherwise, I would never allow them to print my ideas!]

In the examples I have raised, it is my moral objection to the subject matter (and the journal seeing fit to publish them or give them a platform) which has resulted in my firm decision [to never allow them to publish my words].

• *DISCLAIMER: The characters and events depicted are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to names or incidents is entirely coincidental.
• Top 10 Legal Disclaimers (The Hollywood Reporter)

EDITOR'S RESPONSE

National view: Republicans, Democrats agree: cancel "cancel culture" (Duluth News Tribune)

.

What have we done to our good readers?

While we agree with "Mr. A" that these articles, or recent posts, are objectionable, we reason with him not to condemn Wisdom Quarterly for the decision to give these views a voice or platform. Unlike the openminded British, with their topless Page 3 Girls in every publication exposing children and others to titillating nudity, we American Puritans are closeminded about venises, paginas, and violence directed at males by females. But these are hard realities, particularly in a patriarchy and insidiously sexist culture, as we in the West enjoy as our first world problems. We plead with Mr. A not to cancel his subscription or avert his gaze, but rather to look for the good in all. The women of England behind the "V Museum" are feminists attempting to humanize the female body and its procreative components so denigrated by our fatherly and male-centric mentalities, with the male gaze and voice colonizing our minds. As a privileged white male, it is admirable that Mr. A sees fit to speak up for the oppressed and take on the white man's burden of being upright, acting as the self-appointed Purity Police that finds fault with the rest of the world in general and us in particular, wayward post-British Americans on this side of the pond. We further hope that by bringing attention to these matters, a wave of complaint comments can be avoided, and that no other Letters to the Editor (addressed to Ms. Ashley Wells of the Ashley Wells Foundation) be forthcoming. What will Tricycle, Access to Insight, Shambhala, and America's paper of record The New York Times (to say nothing of The New Yorker) think of us now?

Buddhism's "sexual misconduct" defined

Dhr. Seven, Amber Larson, Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly (2009 revised Summer 2021)

What does the Buddha say is "sexual misconduct" (kamesu micchacara)? Here are two definitions in the Buddha's own words.

Sexual misconduct is when "one conducts oneself wrongly in matters of sex: one has sexual intercourse with those under the protection of:

1. father,
2. mother,
3. mother and father,
4. brother,
5. sister,
6. relatives or clan,
7. their religious community;
8. or those promised to someone else,
9. protected by law,or
10. those betrothed with a garland" (Book of Tens, Anguttara Nikaya, X, 206).

What about obsessive pornography?

"Abandoning sexual misconduct, one abstains from sexual misconduct: one does not have intercourse with persons who are protected by their mother, father, mother and father, brother, sister, or relatives, who have a husband, who are protected by law, or with those already engaged."

(See Bhikkhu Bodhi's translation, In the Buddha's Words, p. 159, based on MN 41; Saleyyaka Sutra; I 286-90).

Sexual misconduct or "wrong sensual indulgence" is karmically harmful behavior. On account of karma (intentions of mind, speech, body -- or unrestrained thoughts, verbalizations, or deeds) it will result in suffering (disappointment, unsatisfactoriness, pain) now and/or in the future.

Kama or "sensuality" (not to be confused with kamma or karma) denotes pleasure associated with the senses, particularly the poster child for it, sexual pleasure -- as in the legendary Sanskrit classic, the Kama Sutra.

Sensual misconduct is wrongdoing for the sake of satisfying sensual desires (raga) or cravings (tanha). This harm may be to oneself and/or others.

• These two should be clearly distinguished from ethically-neutral ordinary will, volition, or desire (chanda) not based on inappropriate craving or harm.

Judeo-Christian Commandments

For example, there can be harm to oneself by overindulgence, such as gluttony/obesity, addiction, foolishness based on intoxication, lack of guarding oneself, nonrestraint. This is because craving arises, and one habitually tries to satisfy it in an ultimately unsatisfactory manner.

Any excessive or addictive sensual (kamesu) indulgence may constitute "misconduct" (miccachara), not simply sex. Strictly speaking, however, the term "sensual misconduct" is defined only in sexual terms, as the Buddha makes clear by his definition.

• Compare this to the use of the word "volition" (cetana, intention) as a stand in for all 50 of the mental formations (sankhāra-khandha) not already mentioned in the Five Aggregates clung to as self (khandha).

Right speech example

This limited definition makes sense when sex is viewed as representative of sensuality in general -- much in the way as the ordinary Buddhist thinks that right speech (samma vaca), the third factor of the Noble Eightfold Path, means only abstaining from lying.

Lying is simply the grossest form of "wrong speech" or verbal misconduct. 

In fact, right speech refers to "speech that is timely, true, gentle, purposeful, and uttered kind-heartedly" (Book of the Fives, AN 198).

Right speech means abstaining from speaking falsely, unseasonably (at the wrong moment), harshly, maliciously, or idly. After all, the honest truth -- or the situation as one sees it and claims it to be -- may be more harmful when spoken in any of these other ways than even a fib or silence.

The problem with thinking that kamesu micchacara ("sexual misconduct") only refers to sex is that one soon becomes accustomed to the shorthand and neglects to consider that kamesu really refers to all six senses (the ordinary five plus the mind).

Fornication

Stop! Don't put ideas in their heads.

Moreover, "sexual misconduct" has been hastily defined by early British, German, and French scholars based on Judeo-Christian thinking and mores as "fornication and adultery" (sex before marriage and infidelity or cheating).

The Buddha taught that it is wise to abstain from sexual misconduct not conduct for lay persons. He did not teach that householders must abstain from sex, sexual behavior, nor did he proclaim that they can engage in sex only in the context of marriage or with the goal of pregnancy or child-bearing as many Christian sects teach.

It is mistaken and off-putting to confuse the puritanical teachings of other religions with the ethical universals taught by the Buddha.

Consenting individuals of legal age who are not under the protection of others are free to engage in and enjoy sex without being admonished or told they are doing wrong. (It will not be satisfactory because it intrinsically cannot be satisfactory, which is to say it will ultimately disappoint, as all sensuality does, and it is likely to be accompanied with much dismay and trouble, of course).

What is important is that in so doing, in pursuing sex, we are neither being harmed nor causing harm to others, including the society, relatives, and acquaintances.

"Sexting" (texting sexual images by phone), harmless child's play or a worrisome trend?

.

Explanation

Pandaka? Not everything is clear cut.

Therefore, definitively speaking "sexual misconduct" means engaging in  consensual sex with anyone under protection, which makes them unable to give that consent, or sex with any non-consenting individual (as in rape, coercion, or fraud).

This means that any dependent supported by parents, guardians, the community, state, or a spouse or fiancée is out of bounds.

The state (or a monarch) may decree someone as "off limits," such as the common early English translation of a "female convict." This meant someone who was not free under a legal mandate, for example a court order, edict, a royal decree, or under penalty.

It would clearly be harmful to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone under duress (pressure, threat, or force). That would be harmful to all three parties -- oneself, another, and both (where "both" means the community).

In the same way, to a lesser degree, harm is being done when one has sex with someone promised (by parents or guardians) to another, or who is betrothed, engaged, or already married.

In brief, one avoids doing harm by abstaining, not from all sex but from all "misconduct."

To over extend or distort the meaning of misconduct leads to hypocrisy and even guilt for those trying to live as Buddhists. What about masturbation then? And what about homosexuality?

Celibacy

Sex, no sex, it's time to meditate and clear the mind (Life in Hell/Matt Groening).

.

Complete abstinence (brahmacariya) is said to be the supreme way of living, the shortest path to awakening, enlightenment, liberation, and complete freedom from suffering. But chastity and celibacy is only incumbent on those who willingly adopt such a stringent rule, namely those at an intensive retreat keeping the Eight Precepts, or as a monastic (nun or monk).

• Three Poisons of the Mind/Heart: Lust, Hate (Fear), Delusion

Buddhist monastics are celibate and do not masturbate. That is not to say they do not cheat on this rule with some consequences in accordance with the Monastic Disciplinary Code.

Penetrative sex entails immediate expulsion from the Sangha (Buddhist Monastic Community) for life. Masturbation requires a meeting of the Sangha for discipline and a subsequent meeting. (In practice, an abbot or abbess may demote one to the end of the line, where one is bound to be embarrassed as others speculate why that was done).

As for lay Buddhists who choose to temporarily keep more than Five Precepts, for example during a meditation retreat, celibacy and refraining from masturbation and even sexual and sensual fantasizing and other indulgences is the name of the game.

Celibacy is not imposed on independent adults. But it is sometimes voluntarily adopted as a form of training and self-discipline to bring craving under control. There are many ways to remain celibate, and the worst is by force. Meditation on unattractiveness or the foul intrinsic nature of things (asubha bhavana) done correctly and under supervision is perhaps the most powerful.

One will not even think of sex or sensual indulgence with constant mindfulness of the foul or unification of mind (concentration, samadhi, piti or the blissful rapture accompanying successful attainment of the initial meditative absorptions). So it is NOT a strenuous effort of a hypocritical priest or "holy" person, gritting one's teeth, or the "extreme" austerity of a hermit or recluse.

Final word

Your goal? Samsara or Nirvana?

The fact of the matter is that one who would avoid "misconduct" in sexual matters is best advised to follow the customs and sensibilities of one’s era and culture -- not because these are right but because in this way one avoids reproach, social harm, hurt feelings, and many unnecessary troubles. That is a good practice of virtue, public ethics, and personal morality (sila). One avoids temptation and harm by obsession, awkward pursuit, or addiction.

This is, in fact, what many Buddhist monks advise. But let's keep in mind what the Buddha actually taught and not make Buddhism just another hypocritical "religion." In addition, be mindful of what our society teaches, but go to the source following the message of the Kalama Sutra, which is not "do whatever you think" but rather "avoid what even you can see is harmful and practice what you yourself can see as beneficial."

• 
  For more on this subject, see Buddhism and Sex by the British scholar and translator Maurice Walshe (Buddhist Publication Society, Wheel No. 225)
• Rules to live by for lay Buddhists (Sigalovada Sutra)
• Pope condemns sexual violence against women
• After horrific sexual trial, Austria struggles to move on