Cartoon: Beavis 'n Butthead get old (sutra)

I didn't know we were going to get old.

Cartoon characters may age right in front of our eyes and eventually die, like The Simpson, Family Guy, and South Park, but we never will. That kind of mortality is only in animation and just for laughs. Can you imagine if radical impermanence applied to our lives? Why, our youth, beauty, and joys might evaporate right in front of our eyes, like good ol' Beavis and Butthead. Of course, the ancient sages of India warned of just such a thing in this story of the past by the Buddha:

• Odd that the supremely enlightened Buddha mentions the teachings of another teacher? No, Araka is the Bodhisatta (in a past life, i.e., the Buddha before enlightenment). He is recalling what a good teacher taught before "supreme" (samma-sam) awakening.

The Buddha on Teachings of the Sage Araka

(Paramount Plus) Mike Judge's Beavis & Butt-Head meditate with their nice hippie high school teacher | Season 2's funniest moments | Paramount+

Things are radically impermanent.

"Once long ago, meditators, there was a teacher named Araka, a leader of a school who was free of lust for sensual pleasures. He had hundreds of students and he taught them dhamma [his Doctrine] in this way:

"'Next to nothing, students (Brahmins), is this human life — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and distress. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a purified life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.

"'Just as a dewdrop on a blade of grass soon vanishes with the rising of the sun, in the same way, students, human life is like that dewdrop — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.

"'Just as when the weather-devas send rain in large droplets that hit and form a water bubble that soon vanishes, in the same way, students, human life is like that water bubble — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is born there is no freedom from death.

"'Just as a line drawn on water with a stick soon vanishes, in the same way, students, human life is like that line — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.

Subject to aging, I should seek the ageless.

"'Just as a river flows down from the mountains, goes far in a swift current, and carries everything with it, so that there is not a second, not a moment, not an instant when it stands still, but instead it flows, and moves and rushes. In the same way, students, human life is like that river — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.

"'Just as a strong person might form spit on the tip of the tongue then spit it out with little effort, in the same way, students, human life is like that spit — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.

Huh huh huh, you look old. Here's a cane.

"'Just as a shred of flesh tossed onto an iron pan that has been heated all day soon vanishes, in the same way, students, human life is like that shred of flesh — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.

"'Just as a doomed cow being led to a slaughterhouse stumbles with every step as it moves closer to slaughter and closer to death, in the same way, students, human life is like that doomed cow — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.'

Old Cornholio (new Beavis & Butt-Head)

"Now at that time, meditators, the average human life span was 60,000 years, with females marriageable at 500. And at that time there were [only] six afflictions: [touch of] cold, heat, hunger, thirst, [and the need for] defecation and urination. Yet even though humans were so long-lived, long-lasting, with so few afflictions, the Sage Araka taught dhamma to his disciples in this way:

"'Next to nothing, students, is human life — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.'

"At present, meditators, one speaking rightly might say, 'Next to nothing is human life — limited, a trifling, a mass of disappointment and despair. One should touch this [truth] like a sage, do what is skillful, and lead a pure life. For one who is reborn there is no freedom from death.'

• 

  How many moons would we have seen? 36,500?

  At present, meditators, one who lives a long time is 100 years old or a little more. Living 100 years, one lives for 300 seasons: 100 seasons of cold, 100 seasons of heat, 100 seasons of rain.
• Living for 300 seasons, one lives for 1,200 months: 400 months of cold, 400 months of heat, 400 months of rain.
• Living for 1,200 months, one lives for 2,400 fortnights: 800 fortnights of cold, 800 fortnights of heat, 800 fortnights of rain.
• Living for 2,400 fortnights, one lives for 36,000 days: 12,000 days of cold, 12,000 days of heat, 12,000 days of rain.
• Living for 36,000 days, one eats 72,000 meals: 24,000 meals in the cold, 24,000 meals in the heat, 24,000 meals in the rain — counting the taking of mother's milk and obstacles to eating.
• Obstacles to eating? There are these: when one does not eat due to anger, when one does not eat due to distress, when one does not eat due to illness, when one does not eat due to an observance [Uposatha] day, when one does not eat due to poverty.

Turn, turn, turn, how the season turn.

"Meditators, reckoning the life of a human being who lives for 100 years, there is the lifespan, the seasons, the years, the months, the fortnights, the nights, the days, the meals, the obstacles to eating.

"Whatever a teacher would do in seeking the welfare of disciples, out of sympathy for them, have I done for you.

"Over there, there are the roots of trees; over there, empty dwellings. Practice meditative absorptions (the jhanas), meditators. Be not heedless, such that you might fall into regret later. This is our message."

• The Three Basic Facts of Existence: I. Impermanence (Anicca)
• Visiting Old Stuart | Beavis and Butt-Head
• (Comedy Central UK) More moronic Beavis and Butthead moments | Beavis and Butthead
• Mike Judge, Beavis & Butt-Head (MTV via Paramount+); Dhr. Seven (ed.), Arakenanusasani Sutta (AN 7.70, PTS: A iv 136) based on Ven. Thanissaro (trans), Wisdom Quarterly

Valentine's Day: Countdown to Extinction

Man, life on the phone sucks! Is all life just social media and a popularity contest?

5 reasons why Valentine's Day is bad for us

(Psych2Go) February 14th is Valentine's Day. It's the day of love! Just ask Cupid and Eros, not to mention Mara Devaputra (the tempter figure in Buddhism).

Valentine's Day can be good, but there's lots of pressure put on relationships as well, to say nothing of the single people desperate for a romantic partner. The thought of not getting gifts that are expensive or meaningful enough overpower the true essence of a relationship.

It's a day of reminding a partner of how much you love him or her or them through actions and affirmations. What are we doing to celebrate today? Are we still a couple? Are we newly single?

Here's a video on the reasons why some people are still single: youtu.be/pGgGbZZdYOg

• Writer: Michal Mitchell
• Script Manager: Kelly Soong
• Voice: Amanda Silvera youtube.com/AmandaSilvera
• Animator: Naphia YouTube
• Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:

• Fader, J. (2015). How Valentine's Day is Ruining Relationships | Psychology Today. Retrieved from psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-you/201503/how-valentines-day-is-ruining-relationships
• Neal, B. (2018, February 3). 8 Reasons Valentine's Day is a Toxic Holiday. Bustle. Retrieved from bustle.com/p/8-reasons-valentines-day-is-a-toxic-holiday-8109986
• Schmidt, A. (2019, February 11). 8 Reasons Why Valentine's Day is The Worst. Insider. Retrieved from insider.com/why-valentines-day-is-the-worst-2019-2

Suicide ("Jump" the Cartoon)

A Buddhist Perspective on Suicide

Dharmachari (for Wisdom Quarterly)

The Buddhist teaching on suicide is very clear. It is killing. It is karma with heavy and unpleasant consequences. Even when life is unbearable, and it will be, there are options that are far better and available to everyone. The Petavatthu (Tales of Hungry Ghosts) has surprising tales of the consequences.

Suicide is not possible through killing oneself: All that is really happening is transitioning from a bad situation to a worse situation. One is still in a situation, still stuck in Samsara, still existing. What kind of "suicide" is that?

Craving is the root of suffering. There are, in this sense, three forms craving may take. First, there is the obvious and that is craving for sensual pleasure. Second, there is craving for continued existence (wanting to live on eternally). Third, and most relevant here, is the craving for annihilation.

Nirvana is the quenching of all thirst, craving, and desire. The world is not the problem; craving is. Life is not a problem but how one approaches it. The solution is enlightenment. The solution is redirecting the mind to what uplifts it, away from what is bringing on dejection.

Esther and Jerry Hicks in their books and workshops on the law of attraction explain an amazing thing. With a chart, they illustrate the need to move up an emotional ladder step by step, rung by rung. One cannot jump. It is not possible to go from depressed and hopeless to cheerful and optimistic in one step. Instead, one passes through intermediate stages. So very negative things like anger might be relatively good -- in that it is moving away from hopeless to angry, from angry to vengeful, from vengeful to relieved, and so on. One shifts. It doesn't become a physical action, and one doesn't remain angry. One goes to a better feeling state. One follows a bliss that actually leads to a better feeling state. One can reach "the end of all suffering" (nirvana).

Suicide "hotlines" and outreach call centers are all around (911). Assisted suicide falls into the karma of killing as well. It may not seem fair, but if a Buddhist monk or nun were to counsel or even suggest to someone to take his or her own life by saying something like, "What is this life for you? It wouldn't be much of a loss!" that is enough to permanently banish the monastic from the Sangha. They would be forfeiting their ordination. Like suggesting or recommending abortion, it is considered killing -- one of four grave offenses that cannot be corrected (parajika).

That being the case -- that the monastic did not do the killing, did not see the killing, but only thought it and said it as a suggestion -- how much more grave for the person who engages in the actual act? The person who commits suicide would bear that additional karmic burden, not only losing the great and rare opportunity of being human, as woeful as it is in this world, but inheriting a more painful, more desperate situation as a result. Shift. Happiness awaits right here in this world.

• Ghost-hunters enter haunted house (AOL)
• Law of Attraction Quote:

"You are the vibrational writers of the script of your life, and everyone else in the Universe is playing the part that you have assigned to them" -- Abraham (excerpted from a workshop in San Francisco, 3/2/97, see previous quote; subscribe to daily quotes).