Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, June 21, 2026

What if I HATE my Dad on Father's Day?


Singalong, Everyone! Because I'm sure I'm the only one, right?
(Trafalgar) Falsettos' "Everyone Hates His Parents" (lyric video)

My Dad's a "Mad Man" (D.R.I.)
"My Old Man's a Fatso"

Eventually, Sid (age 29) spoke up for himself.
Prince Siddhartha Gautama (who became the Buddha at 35) had a dad, not Mr. Gautama. (Surnames came from mother Queen Maya Gautama). His father was King Suddhodana, a very proud, caring even doting father, who had to seem like a jerk to young Sid, always giving him everything he wanted but shielding him from seeing the truth about the world at every turn. His motive? Suddhodana had to keep Sid homebound so he could take over the family business when the time came. It didn't matter that that wasn't what Sid wanted: Your future has been decided for you.

Hey, Beavis, we become our Dads, huh huh huh.
In America, we hate our dads, I guess, until we become our dads. Then we hate ourselves and drink beer, wondering, "Did Dad hate himself? And did his dad hate himself? And is this trap sprung on everyone even in the 'richest country in the world'? This is as good as it gets? This is the best?!"


O, Buddha, I think Bart hates Homer. - Warn him
But what kind of karma (deed, action, conduct) is that, and what will be the result? According to the Buddha, our parents provide a massive and tremendous opportunity for merit (good karma). The only people who provide more are the noble ones (those well-behaved people along the stages of enlightenment). But our parents also have a hidden danger for us, massive and tremendous risk of bad karma for their neglect, mistreatment, abuse.

Jewish boy kills parents (Rob Reiner)
(It's strange because the same two people, if disrespected or harmed by others, wouldn't be such weighty karma as if we did it. It would still be bad, but when it's our own father or mother, or people who raised us like a mother or father, it is VERY weighty. It is so weighty that the Buddha pointed out Five Heinous Karmic Crimes, two of which are matricide and parricide).

How WE treat -- feel, think, talk, and do towards them -- matters a great deal. It matters so much that once a boy really wanted to see the Buddha in the flesh, so he traveled a long way and finally met him, and the Buddha asked him, "Why do you need to see me when you have two Buddhas at home?" (This would suggest that anything he might gain from the Buddha, say in terms of the karma of honoring him in person, he could gain from his parents).
Mom and Dad really pissed me off.
Ultimately, it becomes what WE do, not what parents do or did. There will be no excuse for our intentional actions towards them -- or anybody, but especially them. That's how special parents are.

If a snarling animal were to come at us and we killed it, that would be the terrible karma of killing. "But," we'll say, "it was going to kill us, or harm us, or it was scaring us by snarling! So that shouldn't be bad karma; I should get a freebie on that one."

Now, think about it for a moment. If even a snarling savage wild crazed rabid animal were coming at us, snarling and looking ready to bite, and we killed it THAT would be bad karma with suffering for us as the result, how much more for a father, mother, or stepparent -- who came at us providing life, food, shelter, assistance, learning, and so much more?
  • I slapped this on my Dad's car so he'd know.
    Sure, of course, we don't remember that. We weren't aware and don't now remember when we were infants puking on our dads and moms or parental figures. How we pooped, got sick, were helpless, needed things, got housed, got fed, got cared for, got loved... Sure, we'll say, "Nah, dawg, you don't know my dad [or Mom or whoever]!" And we can tell stories about how bad he was (or they were), how much he drank and yelled and restricted and punished and threatened and spanked or punched or worse. Blah, blah, blah. It's true. It's understandable.
  • But it's not going to matter. It is NOT going to make it neutral karma, and it sure isn't good karma. "But, but...but I was ill-equipped to handle it. No one taught me any other way! I blame my dad, stupid jerk, for not teaching me better! HE made me do it! I treat him like he treated me at the worst of times (because I've forgotten the best of times when he was doing so much for me that I don't count or never knew about)."
How punks D.R.I. see "Karma"
D.R.I. somehow learned about "Karma" and sang about it

LYRICS "Karma": Hey, Punk, with that bottle in your hand/ What makes you so sad? Could life really be that bad?/ Sure, you've got your reasons/ But your alibis are lies/ The story is an old one/ It's been told a million times/ You were glad to be alive/ On life's journey/ You were excited/ But you were not in a hurry/ For years, you walked up and down each road/ You had to try them all/ Looking for your place, I guess/ Where you could rest and feel at home/ Now, tired of walking/ You've started to run/ Passing everything by/ But at least you're having fun/ Good karma, bad karma/ You'll get what you deserve/ There is good and evil/ You've got a lot to learn/ There is love, there is hate/ You can't do as you please/ Wash your face, take a bath/ Your aura's still filthy/ In someone's bathroom, turning blue, puking green/ You're senile, senile at seventeen/ Scars on your brain from drinking beer and smoking weed/ Another acid tab, another shot of speed/ Good karma, bad karma/ You'll get what you deserve/ There is good and evil/ You've got a lot to learn/ There's no lie, only truth/ In reality/ You hate love, you love to hate/ Your soul is so diseased/ You are just a fish in a sea of human beings/ Lost in, caught up in, someone else's dream/ Afraid to laugh 'cause you might drown/ The true mad, sad clown sinking down/ Into the darkness where no one/ Would dare venture to save you
  • I don't deserve what happens to me!
    "Karma's a b*tch," that's the saying. What does it mean? It means karma can be. How is "karma" defined in the West? "What comes around goes around." And what does that saying mean? That means what we send upstream will be coming downstream, what we put out comes back, what we throw out there sooner or later lands on our heads. When we put out something in the wind, it will eventually be hitting us right in the face. So if we spit or pee or poop, ooh, that's going to be a "b*tch" all right. But what if we were to waft fragrant flower petals before us, or wondrous incense smoke, or the aroma of savory food? Mmm, that would be pleasing! That would be welcome hitting us in the face. So it is not that "Karma is a B" all the time, just the times when our karma (deeds) are as awful as offal (tripe, eviscerated waste, poop).

The real meaning of "6-7"
Karma: Take that, Old Man! - Hah, you Ingrate!
Karma works out its results quite impersonally. Y'know how annoying Christians say, "God is not mocked" (Galatians 6:7)? I think they're really, without realizing it, talking about Karma. We don't really get away with things only we know we did. The truth will out, maybe not in this lifetime, and maybe we'll content ourselves to say, "There can't no other lifetimes because I don't believe in that!" but it won't matter.

  • Hey, don't c u comin up with a better explanation
    Remember that slightly stoopid fad kids had going not long ago, saying "six seven" to everything for no apparent reason? (Thanks, South Park!) Wisdom Quarterly wonders if it wasn't some semi-conscious allusion to Galatians 6:7. It's not like anybody reads the Bible nowadays, and no one consciously remembers. But it gets shoved down our threats and into our heads, so who knows if it didn't sneak in so that when everyone heard "six seven," it did have this meaning: "Do not be deceived. Karma cannot be mocked. We reap (harvest) what we sow (plant)."
F Dad who never cared 'bout me
But, y'know, like, what if you do hate him? It's understandable to be very mad at an American parent, fathers and mothers -- and those super jerks the stepparents, who didn't even give birth to a kid and have to suffer the same things and worse from the troubled kids they adopt. It's not all for nothing, parents. It's no accident we adopt. It's no accident we were born into this society that taught and trained us this way, so that's not going to work as an excuse to get us off the karmic hook. Who would ask us, Yama King of the Dead? Jehovah/Yahweh/Yaldabaoth, the Demiurge? Karma does not work through "court" proceedings. It just does its thing. Without knowing it, we are carrying around the seeds of it right now so that wherever we go, there we are. And wherever we go, karma is already there. Karma is the builder, the creator, the producer of our states and traits, our vipaka and phala (karmic resultants and fruits).

The Other F Word: Punk Doc
So what's a person to do? What action (karma) would produce merit? One should ask, "Hey, if I hate my Dad and am going to get into a world of karmic consequences for ignoring or mistreating him, what should I do?" That would be a great question to ask the Buddha, the Awakened One. If one is lucky enough to seek guidance from the Buddha, the Dharma, or the [Noble = Enlightened] Sangha, that will be a very good question. And here's what they would say:

Cultivate metta. Cultivate all four of the Divine Abidings. It will be for YOUR good for a long, long time. Seeing as how we've been cultivating terrible qualities -- whether we learned them from our parents or not -- this would be a great way to go against the stream that pull us down. We could RISE ABOVE (all the BS and family problems we were born into) and go up!


There's a better way to respond to life?
The lotus bud figured this out long ago. Ever notice where the most beautiful and fragrant lotus flowers grow? That's right -- in the mud and mire, the filth and pollution. They love it, accept it, transform it into the most beautiful things. Come to think of it, all the best tasting food grows on dirt, mud, soil, and fertilizer. Fertilizer?! That's made of dung 💩🐽🤭, isn't it?


Who Ordered This...Dung?
So Western Theravada monk Ajahn Brahm wrote that book making this point: If a dump truck pulls up in front of your house and drops a massive load, what should you do? B*tch and complain, tell everybody how unfair it is that this happened to you, take revenge, start throwing it at everyone like a monkey in a zoo would?

Or might it be a better idea to take it around back to the garden, dig it into the ground, and get the most beautiful flowers and vegetables and fruits from its transformation? Bury it. Let it do good. You'll be thanking that dump truck driver in the end, if you follow this enlightened advice.


When I was a kid, I had a cousin of around the same age. My Dad was a drunk, his father was a religious nut. We'd come home from school and call each other. During those phone calls, I would tell him the latest insanity my dad displayed, and he would tell me what his pops (my uncle) was up to. Before long, it became a contest. "Hah, my dad's a bigger a-hole than your dad!"

Homer, your son says you're a bad father to him.
"Oh yeah, well, let me tell you what he was up to today." And we would flabbergast each other with the ghastly things those fathers of ours had done. Sometimes he won, but most of the time, no one could touch my dad for sheer awfulness, depravity, drunkenness, and vulgarity, to say nothing of the threats, punishments, and always having me be in some kind of trouble or restriction. I fought back. My cousin was smarter and kept his head down, "Yes, Dad," that way he avoided trouble. We eventually called it a draw and my belief that if only he didn't drink, my dad would be all right. His dad never drank and was this much of an a-hole? Hah! What's a growing boy to do? I did what, it seems, few other boys do.

I didn't drink, and I didn't believe in my parents' religion. No way, what hypocrisy! The whole idea of a "father" in the sky was enough for me to say, "F the Patriarchy!" Very punk rock, very crossover, very thrash, very heavy metal, very extreme and alternative. But what's a boy to do, having given up that cultural inheritance? Look for a new, a better one, something I chose rather than was born into (on account of karma).

I eventually loved my dad. I always loved him. I didn't think I didn't love him. I just hated him on top of that. So I stopped that extra layer, stopped ruminating on all the negative things he did. Why/how? I learned Buddhism and Eightfold Yoga.


Buddha Yoga (Wm. Bodri)
I rejected Western materialism and sought answers in the East, where I always suspected they were, just like so many before me, from Siddhartha to Jews of all eras like Jesus, who was more likely an Essene, Gnostic, Buddhist monk at Hemis Gompa in Ladakh, a student of Vedic Brahmanism, and not much of a "Jew," as the Ashkenazi of today would have the West believe).

There's more we can do to love our dads and moms (or at least not hate them) than the Four Divine Abidings. That's why it's invaluable (so valuable that a price cannot be put on it) to have learned and practiced "meditation." What is this English word we call "meditation"? It is cultivation (like dung in the garden or farm), self-improvement, development (bhavana), literally "bringing into being" what we want, like to not be so mad, angry, resentful, and ingrateful.

If we cultivate the opposite of these four, what would we be like? We could be sane, here and now under these circumstance; we could be more loving, joyful, and grateful -- FULL of gratitude not only for our parents, such as they were, but for all the other people who sort of "parented" us when our parents weren't always up to the task: teachers, family, friends, acquaintances, pure strangers, enemies even. There's a very beautiful saying in Hinduism that really helped me when I reflected on it to not be resentful of the harm people do us, with or without knowing how much harm they're doing:

The sandalwood tree sprinkles perfume on the axe that lays it low.

I once opened a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. Who knows why, it's not like I ate those cookies or believed in the mass printed fortunes in them, and I found a treasure. This ancient wisdom of the East:

The wise person learns more from the fool
than the fool ever learns from the wise.
The Other F Word: punk rock doc on the payback of Fatherhood
The Other F Word: Flea and daughter Clara, deleted scene (Oscilloscope Laboratories)

CLUB LADIEZ
(CLUB LADIEZ) The Other F Word is an American documentary film directed by independent filmmaker Andrea Blaugrund Nevins. It explores the world of aging punk rock musicians as they transition into being parents and try to maintain the contrast between their anti-authoritarian lifestyle/pose with the responsibilities of Fatherhood, the titular "other F word." In addition to interviewing over 20 musicians [1] from across the spectrum of the genre -- including Jim Lindberg of Pennywise, Mark Hoppus of Blink 182, and Fat Mike of NOFX -- the film also includes other emblematic figures of the punk subculture such as professional skateboarder Tony Hawk, in a chronicle of the struggles and rewards that accompany raising children. It was released in the U.S. by Oscilloscope Laboratories in 2011. More

D.R.I: Birth of the Imbeciles
  • Falsettos (Trafalgar/Lucie Svodobova); MisterQuigley; D.R.I./Dirty Rotten Imbeciles; Angry Samoans; Oscilloscope Labs The Other F Word (free on YouTube); Dhr. Seven, Sheldon S., Seth Auberon, Pfc. Sandoval (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly
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Wednesday, May 20, 2026

1893 World's Fair was a lie: It was Tartaria

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Tuesday, May 12, 2026

The Buddha's father King Suddhodana


Men are dumb, Dad - I know. I❤️U.
It's easy to love mom, but what about dad? What has the Men's Movement done for males in this patriarchy? (There are feminist men?) In the U.S., whether or not to celebrate "Father's Day" nationwide is a matter of debate. In 1908, Grace Golden Clayton proposed a day to honor men who had died in a U.S. mining accident. It was rejected then.

But in 1909, Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, who along with her five brothers had been raised by a single father, attended "Mother's Day" in a church.

Men's empowerment hike on Father's Day
She then convinced the Spokane Ministerial Association to celebrate Father's Day nationwide [7]. In addition to Father's Day, International Men's Day is celebrated in many countries on Nov. 19th in honor of men and boys [8]: Father's Day

In the Pāli canon, there are only two discourses (sutras) that explicitly reference Suddhodana, the Mahāpadāna Sutta (DN 14) and in the verse prologue of the Nālaka Sutta (Sn 3.11). In each of these discourses, Suddhodana is represented simply as the Buddha's father and as a Sakyan ruler.


Good father had a bad Buddha who abandoned his newborn son?
(Buddha's Wisdom) The Buddha's son: the forgotten story of Rahula: Why did the Buddha abandon his newborn son, leaving him on welfare in flat in the winter with no schooling or support?

Afghan chieftain Indo-Scythia, Gandhara
Who is Prince Siddhattha's father, the Gandharan (Afghan territorial chieftain?*) King Suddhodana? In Theravada Buddhism (a major branch) — Suddhodana is recorded in the ancient Pali canon.

He was a Saka, Sakka, Shakya, Scythian, Sakiyan raja ("king," "leader," "head," "royal") in Kapilavatthu, the father of Prince Siddhattha Gotama, who became the historical Buddha.

He was the son of Sihahanu and Kaccana. His brothers were Dhotodana, Sakkodana, Sukkodana, and Amitodana, and his sisters were Amita and Pamita.

Maya was his chief consort. After her death, her sister Pajapati was elevated to that position (Mhv.ii.15f.; Dpv.iii.45; J.i.15, etc.)


Asita's visit to Suddhodana
When soothsayers predicted that his son Siddhattha had two destinies awaiting him, either that of a universal monarch (cakkavatti, chakravartin) if he stayed in the world or a universal teacher (Buddhahood) if he renounced it, he exerted his utmost effort to provide the prince with all kinds of sensual luxuries and hedonistic pleasures to hold him to the household life.

It is said (e.g., J.i.54) that when Asita, who was his father's [Brahmin] chaplain and teacher, visited King Suddhodana to see the newborn prince, he paid homage to the infant by allowing his feet to rest on his head. Suddhodana was filled with wonder and also worshipped the child.


I wish for you to be a noble warrior, my son.
Seven years later, at the annual Ploughing Festival ceremony, Suddhodana saw that the shadow of the jambu tree under which the child had been placed in the shade when he spontaneously went into meditative absorption (jhana, samadhi) did not move even as the sun traveled overhead. Then the child, seated cross-legged without moving, levitated in the air. So he again worshipped him (J.i.57f).

Life in the luxurious house of Saka
Twenty-nine years later, when in spite of all his father's efforts, Prince Siddhattha renounced and left behind the household life and took to practicing austerities in the East, Suddhodana sent a messenger/private investigator to find his son and see what he was up to.

The investigator returned with news that his son had died, owing to the severity of his penances (tapas). But Suddhodana refused to believe it, saying that his son would never die without achieving his spiritual goal (J.i.67).

When this was afterwards related to the Buddha, he taught the Maha Dhammapala Jataka, showing that in the past, too, Suddhodana had refused to believe that his son could have died even when he was shown the heap of his bones.

I failed as a father. My son left.
Seven years after that, when news reached Suddhodana that his son had reached enlightenment, he sent a messenger to Veluvana in Rajagaha ("Bamboo Grove" in Rajgir, where King Bimbisara reigned) with many others to invite the Buddha to return home and visit the seasonal capital of Kapilavatthu.

But when the messenger and his companions heard the Buddha teach, they renounced worldly life, entered the Monastic Order, and forgot their mission. This happened nine more times with different messengers.

On the tenth occasion, King Suddhodana sent Kaludayi (Sanskrit Kālodāyin) who had advance permission to join the Sangha on the express condition that he give the king's invitation to the Buddha.

Kaludayi kept his promise, the Buddha consented, and seven years after having left home to embark on a massive spiritual quest, he returned home to visit Kapilavatthu, staying in Nigrodharama. There, in reference to a rain shower that fell, he taught the Vessantara Jataka.
.
The next day, when King Suddhodana remonstrated his royal (noble, warrior) son, the Buddha, because he was seen "begging" (going on almsround) on the streets of Kapilavatthu, the Buddha told him that surviving on offerings was the custom of all buddhas. Hearing this, King Suddhodana became a stream enterer (sotapanna, the first stage of enlightenment).

Son, at 16, you shall marry the beautiful Bimba.
He then offered to feed his new teacher the Buddha, inviting him to visit the palace, where he entertained him. At the end of the meal offering, the Buddha further taught the king, who became a once returner (sakadagami, J.i.90; cf. DhA.iii.164f).
  • This was when the Buddha was reunited with Princess Bimba (Yasodhara) and his 7-year-old son Rahula, both of whom were "saved" in that they were inspired to renounce their worldly lives in the palace and take up the path-of-practice the Buddha taught as wandering ascetics. In no long time, they both became enlightened. Many Saka/Shakya/Scythian relatives were inspired to follow suit, join the Sangha (spiritual community), and make an end of all suffering.
The king then became a nonreturner (anagami, the third of four stages of awakening) after hearing the Maha Dhammapala Jataka (DhA.i.99; J.iv.55).

Suddhodana was the Bodhisatta or Buddha-to-be’s father in numerous previous births, but he is mentioned as such by name in only a few birth (jātaka) tales, namely:
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Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Grok undresses women and children

Grok’s ‘Spicy’ Feature lets you Generate Sexually Explicit Images - Sify
Evil spirit "Grok" haunts the artificial app
An update to Elon Musk’s [Frankenstinian] free AI assistant, "Grok," in December 2025 made it easier for people to digitally remove people’s clothes [and show them nude, naked, or partially undressed].

Grok AI (artificial intelligence) is still being used to digitally undress women and children despite suspension pledge Degrading pictures being posted on Elon Musk’s site despite the platform pledging to suspend people who generate them.

Baby mama "Miss Elon Musk" (aka Grimes) in 2012
 
Grimes and Elon Musk change their daughter's name again, share rare photo: no number names
It's illegal to draw me in undies without consent?
Degrading images of children and women with their clothes digitally removed by Grok AI continue to be shared on Elon Musk’s X, despite the platform’s commitment to suspend users who generate them.

After days of concern over use of the chatbot to alter photographs to create sexualized pictures of real women and children stripped to their underwear without their consent, the UK’s communication’s watchdog, Ofcom, said on Monday that it had made “urgent contact with X and xAI to understand what steps they have taken to comply with their legal duties to protect users in the UK.”
  • [We have to get consent to draw someone? - Not with pencil but with an A.I. helper.]
The Porn Wars (Kelsy Burke)
Ofcom added that it would assess whether an investigation is necessary based on the company’s response.

Meanwhile, politicians and women’s rights campaigners accused the UK government of “dragging its heels” by failing to enact legislation that was passed six months ago making the creation of such intimate images illegal.

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