Showing posts with label caring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caring. Show all posts

Monday, March 24, 2025

Don't buy love: Rent-a-Grandma 👵

(Solace Fox) Nothing changes until we do this. (Just do this)

Granny, can you get us some chocolate?
Motherhood is strange. It leads to motherhood. Every mother has a mother, who for the next generation is called the grandmother. But not every individual has the luck, karma, or good fortune to have a Grandma to rely on. Thems is the breaks.

"Always Trust Your Grandma" childcare, nannies, and pet care to the rescue. Welcome to Rent A Grandma (RAG), which provides vital, healthy, safe "care providers." RAG specializes in placing caring women, possessing deep life experience with families as nannies, babysitters, and in-home care providers, as well as chefs, cooks, and highly experienced domestic staff.

App Store BadgeLearn more about RAG's services or contact the with any questions or comments. Check out Rent A Grandma in the App Store. Browse grandmas and create an account from an iPhone or iPad.

Remember, these Grandmas offer excellent care as: babysitters, nannies, baby caregivers, after school care, special needs care, housekeepers, senior care/companions, personal assistants, pet care/sitting, cooks, tutors [but not call gals, dates, or Vegas ranch workers, so don't ask, or ask very gingerly because it's not legal outside of Nevada]. Subscribe to mailing list: rentagrandma.com

Sunday, January 28, 2024

Cannabis flower may improve one thing...

WashPo via The Young Turks; Seth Auberon, Crystal Q. (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Regular marijuana use might increase this human quality, study shows
(The Young Turks) Jan. 27, 2024: People who use cannabis (THC, CBD, terpenes, cannabinoids) may show more empathy towards others, according to a recent scientific study. Ana Kasparian and Cenk Uygur discuss on The Young Turks, a once good channel gone bad (as exposed by former TYT Correspondent Jimmy Dore).
Abuse of clone chemicals can't be good. Relax.
"Some people may turn to weed for anxiety, sleep, and creativity. New research suggests it could also make you a nicer person. The findings, published in the Journal of Neuroscience Research, suggests there could be a connection between cannabis use and empathy."

#TYT #TheYoungTurks #BreakingNews

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

Real life kindness caught on camera


Real life super people caught on camera
(#Mind Warehouse) Jan. 11, 2024: Rescue a kitty, stop a rolling car with bare hands, prevent a fight with pizza, it's metta-motivated super heroic magic. Let's discover the many ways to become a real-life superhero or heroine in this latest compilation!

BRAIN TIME ► goo.gl/tTWgH2. SLICED ► goo.su/v3QLR. For copyright matters, please contact: copymanager.mn@gmail.com. #MindWarehouse #IncredibleMoments #CaughtOnCamera  #MindWarehouse #IncredibleMoments #CaughtOnCamera #incredibleindia.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Sex and the Codependent Female: covert narcissist or damaged empath?

Coach Stephanie Lyn (YouTube.com); Eds., Wisdom Quarterly

The illusion of narcissistic relationships
(Stephanie Lyn Coaching) Here's the conversation I imagine with this insightful life coach/therapist.

Hi.

Hi, Coach Stephanie Lyn. I was dating a gal who created the illusion of a loving relationship when in fact she was really creeping and cheating every chance she got -- then lying about it, hoodwinking me like no one before.

It happens. And you're left picking up the pieces while she off working on the next one.

Yeah, and he's a heroin addict. It's kind of funny. What a choice. What does "codependent" mean? My ex called me a "narcissist," and I looked into it. I do seem narcissistic. What I found, however, is that she seems to have a few of these features as well.

It's not uncommon.

There's a difference. She feels she was love bombed. Now I'm indifferent (having been cheated on by her more than once), whereas she actively tries to draw me into further needing her -- to keep her narcissistic supply going -- so much so that I won't dream of leaving her.

That sounds like her codependence. Here's a definition:


It is, but it's extreme like a narcissist needing "supply." There must be more than one form of supply different personality types need.

We all need something. When it's obsessive, it's a problem. She's looking for external validation, and that's a problem.

Definitely! However, I drew a firm line. I said if her behavior continued (creeping around, cultivating inappropriate intimacy with others whom she attempts to "save" but is really drawing narcissistic or codependent supply from), that would be it. It sure did continue. And I left, no contact.

What does she do?

She is an anxiously attached people pleaser, a "damaged empath" with covertly narcissistic features. She's extremely codependent. It's mind blowing to figure this out with your help.

Classic signs.

I feel duped. Do you think she has duper's delight to have tricked me, been caught, confessed, repented, and then just done it all over again with more lying to cover her tracks?

It goes much deeper than that! Codependence ruins lives.

My life feels ruined so long as I cling. When I let go, really let go, I feel all right. I accept the unhappiness, as Eckhart Tolle recommends, and find that it goes away. It can't bear to be tolerated.

Come in for some therapy. Hope you enjoy these videos! Don’t forget to check out my courses and programs. Reach out to me:

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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Detachment and Compassion in Buddhism

Elizabeth J. Harris,* Detachment and Compassion in Early Buddhism; Wisdom Quarterly
Wisdom Quarterly: Think detachment and non-clingy compassion go together?
 
Bodhi leaf hearts (Gabrielgs)
To people looking at Buddhism through the medium of English, the practice of compassion and detachment can appear incompatible, especially for those who consider themselves to be socially and politically engaged. 
 
In contemporary usage, compassion brings to mind outward-moving concern for others, while detachment suggests aloofness and withdrawal from the world.
Yet Buddhism recommends BOTH as admirable and necessary qualities to be cultivated. This raises questions such as:
  • If compassion means to relieve suffering in a positive way, and detachment to remain aloof from the world, how can the two be practiced together?
  • Does detachment in Buddhism imply lack of concern for humanity?
  • Is the concept of compassion in Buddhism too passive, connected only with the inward-looking eye of meditation, or can it create real change in society?
Kwan Yin (Avalokita), bodhsattva of compassion, Kayosan, Japan (Massimiliano Troiani)
 
It is certainly possible to draw sentences from Buddhist writers which seem to support a rejection of outward concern for others. For example, [classic Mahayana translator] Edward Conze has written, "The Yogin can only come into contact with the unconditioned when he brushes aside anything which is conditioned" (Buddhist Thought in India, 1960, Ch.5).
Similarly, G.S.P. Misra writes (Development of Buddhist Ethics, p. 44), "In the final analysis, all actions [karma] are to be put to cessation... The Buddha speaks of happiness involved in non-action which he further says is an integral part of the Right Way (samma patipada).
 
Taken in isolation and out of context, these remarks can give the impression that the path to [Sanskrit nirvana, Pali nibbana] implies developing a lack of concern towards everything in samsara. But is this inference sound? I would argue that it is not.
This is an issue which touches on the whole question of transferring concepts across linguistic barriers, in this case Pali and English. It calls not only for an understanding of how the concepts are used within the framework of the Pali Buddhist texts, but also for an awareness of how the English terms used in translation function and whether they are adequate.
 
Inevitably, a dialogical approach between two linguistic frameworks is necessary.
 
Detachment
Laugh more, stay cool (zazzle.com)
Viveka [withdrawal] and viraga [dispassion, cooling] are the two Pali words which have been translated as "detachment." The two, however, are not synonymous. The primary meaning of viveka is separation, aloofness, seclusion. Often physical withdrawal is implied. The later commentarial tradition, however, identifies three forms of viveka: physical withdrawal (kaya-viveka), mental withdrawal (citta-viveka), and withdrawal from the roots of suffering (upadhi-viveka).

Physical withdrawal, as a chosen way of life, was not uncommon during the time of the Buddha. To withdraw from the household life, renounce possessions, and adopt a solitary mendicancy was a recognized path. 
 
The formation of the Buddhist monastic Order (Sangha) was grounded in the belief that going out from home to homelessness could aid concentrated spiritual effort. 

Yet, to equate the renunciation which the Buddha encouraged with a physical withdrawal, which either punished the body or completely rejected human contact would be a mistake. More
  • ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dr. Harris studied Buddhism in Sri Lanka from 1986-1993 obtaining a Ph.D. from the Postgraduate Institute of Pali and Buddhist Studies, Univ. of Kelaniya. She is now Secretary for Inter-faith Relations in The Methodist Church in London. Previous BPS publications include Violence and Disruption in Society (Wheel No. 392/393) and Journey into Buddhism (Bodhi Leaves No. 134).

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dung-Like Life to Live (sutra)

Wisdom Quarterly based on Maurice O'Walshe translation
"This is awesome! Should we share it?" "No, let them get their own. They haven't got the good karma to have our abundance!" (Image: laweekly.com).

The Dung Beetle (SN 17.5)
"A fatal thing, practitioners, are gains, favors, and fame -- a bitter, harsh impediment to the attainment of the unsurpassed freedom from bondage [enlightenment and nirvana].

"It is just like a beetle [or cesspool dweller], feeding on dung, full of dung, engorged with dung, standing before a great dung-heap, who might despise other beetles, saying: 'I am a dung-eater, full of dung, engorged with dung, and before me is this great dung-heap!'

"It is the same way, practitioners, if someone is overwhelmed with gains, favors, and fame. That practitioner's head is turned. So having arisen early and taken robe and bowl and gone for alms to the village or market town, one gets one's fill, gets invited again for the next day, and has a full bowl.

"Then one goes to the recluses' park and boasts in the midst of the assembled: 'I have had a good meal, and I am invited again for tomorrow. My bowl is full. I have got [the other requisites as well, namely,] a robe, alms, lodgings, and a sufficient supply of medicines. But these other recluses have little merit and little influence; they do not get [all of these] requisites.'

"Thus this practitioner -- overwhelmed with gains, favors, and fame -- whose head is turned, despises other well-behaved practitioners. But this will bring harm and sorrow to that wretched person for many a long day.

"This goes to show you, practitioners, how disastrous gains, favors, and fame are -- what a bitter, harsh impediment to the attainment of the unsurpassed freedom from bondage.

"Therefore, practitioners, should you train yourselves thus: 'Whatever gains, favors, and fame may come our way, we will reject, lest they should turn our heads.' Thus, practitioners, should you train yourselves."


Regret
Hellmuth Hecker translation (Queen Mallika (Jataka 77 & 314)
Haunting voices were heard. They belonged to four former humans who had lived in the ancient Indian city of Savatthi, who had been seducers of others' spouses.

Through the ripening of their sexual misconduct, they were reborn in a miserable realm. For 30,000 years they sank in red hot iron cauldrons, the heat of which caused a convection cycle. Coming nearer to the fire intensified their unbearable suffering. For another 30,000 years they slowly rose up in those iron cauldrons and were now coming to the rim, where they could once again at least breathe the air of the human realm.

Each one wanted the speak a verse. But because of the gravity of their deeds, they could not get past the first syllable. Not even in sighs could they give voice to their suffering, having long since lost the gift of speech.

The four verses -- which start in the exclusively Buddhist language Pali with "du," "sa," "na," "so" -- were recognized and explained by the Buddha as follows:

Du: Dung-like life we lived,
No willingness to give,
Although we could have given much,
We did not make our refuge thus.

Sa: Say, the end is near?
Already 60,000 years have gone
Without respite the torture is
In this hellish realm.

Na: Naught, no end near, Oh, would it end!
No end in sight for us.
Who once did misdeeds here
For me, for you, for both of us.

So: So, could I only leave this place
And raise myself to human realm,
I would be kind and moral too,
And do good deeds abundantly.

After the king heard these explanations, he became responsive to the request of his compassionate queen and granted freedom to the imprisoned men and animals. He ordered the [ancient Vedic] sacrificial altar to be destroyed.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

7 signs you're in a manipulative relationship

Colleen Oakley (mydaily.com)
Christine Donovan knew something wasn't right in her relationship when she didn't want to go home from work. "I felt anxious all the time," she says. "I never knew what kind of mood he would be in or if I had unknowingly done something that would have upset him." But Christine wasn't in an abusive relationship -- at least none that she had ever seen. "He didn't hit me or get violently angry. I just thought we were having normal relationship problems that we needed to work through," she says. The type of guy Christine was dealing with is all too common, but there's nothing "normal" about it, says Dr. Mary Casey, author of "How to Deal With Master Manipulators." More>>

    The Berlin Zoo's superstar polar bear Knut died suddenly in front of visitors over the weekend at age four, the victim of undiagnosed and unexplained brain damage (AFP).

    Monday, March 21, 2011

    Even Mafia helping Japan relief efforts (video)


    Irony: the Mafia pays the military a visit in this classic Monty Python skit

    Even Japan’s infamous mafia groups are helping out with the relief efforts and showing a strain of civic duty. Jake Adelstein reports on why the police don’t want you to know about it. The worst of times sometimes brings out the best in people, even in Japan’s “losers” (Yakuza) a.k.a. the Japanese mafia. Hours after the first shock waves hit, two of the largest crime groups went into action, opening their offices to those stranded in Tokyo, and shipping food, water, and blankets to the devastated areas in two-ton trucks and whatever vehicles they could get moving. More>>

    Monday, January 17, 2011

    Frittering Away Your Power


    Meditation and koan resolution is by insight not discursive thinking (cartoonbank.com).

    Don’t “Piss Away Your Power”
    Text by Marc Lesser (care2.com, Green Living, comments)
    “Living our life deeply and with happiness, having time to care for our loved ones -- this is another kind of success, another kind of power, and it is much more important” (Thich Nhat Hanh).

    When I was in my early 20s and a young Zen student living at the San Francisco Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm in Marin County, an older woman teacher of mine looked me in the eyes and said, “Marc, you have a way of pissing away your power.”


    Zafu girl (juniper.typepad.com)

    I didn’t know what to make of this. I was stunned at her directness. And I was puzzled. Was this a criticism or a compliment? I felt bad, wondering why and how I was not embracing and utilizing my power. At the same time I felt encouraged because I had no idea I had any power to piss away!

    I thought: Where and what is the power that she sees in me that I don’t see? I suspected that this statement was intended as a gift, one human being looking at another, seeing and expressing what [s/he] believes is possible in the other person, not measuring and comparing but acknowledging an intrinsic positive quality.

    Successful meditation manifests as nondistraction (one-pointedness) of attention. That needs gentle nonjudgment and contented persistence.

    Perhaps at its most basic, offering what she said was a compliment but one couched in language that said ominously, “Don’t squander that gift.” This statement has been a puzzle, a “koan” for me ever since.

    A koan in Zen Buddhism is a story that is used to deepen understanding, to transform the way in which we experience our selves and the world, generally by cutting through habits, patterns, and conventional views and attitudes. A koan doesn’t necessarily have an answer but... More>>

    Friday, May 14, 2010

    Give Love, Get Love and Happiness Now

    Wisdom Quarterly EDITORIAL

    I found the secret to love. You can choose it right now, just as you can choose happiness. It's available right here. But I, for one, won't "feel" it simply because I "choose" it. I'm too hardened. So I draw love out by tapping. I'm not after selfish, sloppy, sexy "love." But it is an option once you exude love. I'm after an altruistic, pure heart, with exploding energy LOVE.

    The ancient Greeks knew how to distinguish the forms love takes: Agápe (αγάπη, altruistic compassion), Éros (έρως, passion with sensual desire and longing, not always sexual, but more than philia or friendship-love, partnership, appreciation of beauty), Philia (φιλία, friendship, familial, communal dedication, dispassionate virtuous loyalty), and Storge (στοργή, affection).

    Unbounded metta (universal kindness, friendliness, connectedness) is the Buddhist all-inclusive term. The Buddha spoke in praise of it again and again -- a love full of concern but free of selfish-attachment. It has close companions in the other "Divine Abidings" here-and-now:

    • karuna (compassion or urge to alleviate others' suffering)
    • mudita (joy-because-of-others'-joy, altruism, sympathy)
    • upekkha (impartiality, equanimity, unbiased regard for all).

    Wednesday, November 18, 2009

    Love Yourself

    You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself.

    That person is not to be found anywhere.

    You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
    -- the Buddha

    Monday, September 28, 2009

    Change Thinking, Change Environment

    We live on a finite planet. Sometimes our impact on it is greater than we realize. The choices we make every day — from our morning beverage to our business practices — are links in a chain of awesome connections we rarely imagine. But the bottom line is, our health is directly connected to the health of business and the health of the natural world. All three wither or grow and flourish together.