Monday, March 12, 2012

A new Buddhist JOKE (finally)

Wisdom Quarterly (EDITORIAL)
Hilarious but anonymous, funny because it's true, this piece comes to Wisdom Quarterly via the PasaDharma Zen Group with just the cryptic tag "moz-screenshot-63." Harlem19? Raymond Monroe? Mos Def? Firefox?

LOCATION: Big Buddha Bar, Japan. A Buddhist monk, a Jewish rabbi, and a Catholic priest walk in. The bartender looks up and asks, "What is this, a joke?"

The problem with MTV is that it switched from music television to eMpTV, with nothing on. Everyone notices, and now most channels are that way, too. Except for Discovery and the History Channel and here and there around the dial.

The editorial board at Wisdom Quarterly held a conclave, a spiritual caucus, to develop a NEW Buddhist joke. This makes perhaps only the seventh such joke ever to enter existence. We've covered the rest. And look, Ma, no hands (clapping), no vacuum cleaner, no Dolly Lama.

Think of the implications. Such a laugh-grabber could be deployed at staid conferences and breakout workshops to add levity to scientific complexity as quantum and neuroscientific evidence is shown to align with elements of the timeless Dharma.

There are Buddhist Google Talks, TED Talks, BIL Talks, Buddhist Geeks Talk, and lots of lesser talks that can really use a midmorning jolt on the final stretch before lunch. Our modest offering arose artificially out of an organic seed contributed by Kalyani.

The check up: a routine physical after a long Buddhist meditation retreat.

One joke probably won't be enough. So here are a few more by way of cultural osmosis via Garrison Kielor's "A Prairie Home Companion," the movie, presented by Buddhist comedians Woody Harrelson (our happy hempster standing up for Buddhist Burma and vegetarianism) and John C. Reilly (director of the world's greatest Buddhist play, the next JC Superstar off-Broadway megahit, "Buddha: A Fantastic Journey," currently enjoying an extended run in Hollywood).

There's no sense in trying to preach to a person on an empty stomach, which most Buddhist temples -- with glorious spreads of ethnic dishes -- seem to well understand.

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