Jo Koy's monologue: Golden Globe to 'Oppy'

"Mattel" Avenged Sevenfold; Golden Globes; Honest Trailers; Einstein; Eds., Wisdom Quarterly

2023 was supposed to be the year of pink

Barbenheimer was a thing, Oppenheimer riding on the back of Barbie for Hollywood, and now the Golden Globes have double done it, choosing a lousy host and giving the bulbus award to Oppy instead of Babs. What humiliation for golden girl Greta Gerwig, who must have expected to sweep every award from here to her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Oppy is just a glorified biopic, like the Snowden film, not revealing anything, just distracting us with minor details about a personality. How do genocidal bombs get built, why are they built, what is "greatest purveyor of violence in the world today" thinking? Never mind. Hey, look, this guy is quirky. So Hollywood joins the military-industrial complex as its propaganda arm. Cue the Avenged Sevenfold Barbie song:

LYRICS: "Mattel" My vinyl skin provides protection/ It holds in place my plastic bones/ Cast button eyes reflect an image/ And all seems as it should, but there's nobody home

Cue the breeze/ That sway the painted trees/ Toy yellow birds upon the rooftops sing/ In chorus with the buzzing bees/ Melt in sun LED beams/ From the sky, bein' held on a string/ While boredom tears me apart at the seams

[Chorus] Now I know this might sound crazy/ But I've smelled the plastic daisies/ And it seems we've found ourselves in hell

Round head consumed with major nothings/ Ears made of wax unfit to hear/ Day after day, it all plays over/ Dedicated loop, same year after year/

Please attend/ All model citizens/ R.S.V.P. if we can count you in/ Empty as we play pretend/ Send our thoughts with you and to your kin/ And in case we don't see you again/ Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight

[Chorus] Now I know this might sound crazy/ But I've smelled the plastic daisies/ And it seems we've found ourselves in hell

Livin' feign in porcelain/ And just smart enough to know nothing at all/ Pull my string and make me cry/ Advertisement, moral scrawl/ A semblance of choice when there's no choice at all/ Out of stock, the end is nigh/

Burn Body, burn/ Burn/ Now I know this might sound crazy/ But I've smelled the plastic daisies/ And it seems we've found ourselves in hell

What was the result of this karma here and hereafter?