Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Science: What "Mr. Right" looks like (video)

Science has spoken, so who are we to question the published results of experts?
This is what Mr. Right looks like, says science
Relationship advice culled from various scientific studies
To find him, he is best viewed from Dog
Ah, science! Where would we be without it? It's put a man on the Moon, it's cured polio, it's told us how many licks it actually takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.  But if there's anything in this world that is beyond the reach of cold, hard research, it's love. It works in mysterious ways, they say, and anyone who's even brushed up against it knows that the answer to how attraction governs our lives is not going to be found in a laboratory or through survey results.

If you squint at his bulge (wallet), he's dreamy!
But in the process of shooting people into outer space and curing diseases, scientists have gotten pretty cocky. Everything in this world can be quantified, qualified, and disseminated by Science (with a capital S) via research studies that are then distilled into countless blog posts, and this includes what makes relationships work and what causes them to fall apart.

So don't worry, lovelorn denizens, a team of grad students is working round the clock to science-splain the facts of life to you.
Men Explain (R. Solnit)
But the findings of most of these relationship studies usually don't seem to amount to much more than common sense, raising the question of why anyone is really even bothering.

Is finding that shorter men do more housework and get divorced less really going to influence whom a woman decides to marry? Of course not.

In the case of relationships, science is used as a way for people to somehow explain and rationalize their fraught romantic partnerships.

Dr. Ruth Love Advice
Dr. Ruth: Best Place to Pick Up Women
Regardless of how exacting the scientific method was carried out during these experiments, you can only learn so much about love and compatibility from an institute who surveyed a few handfuls full of Northern European singles to reach to a conclusion that is being reported throughout American media as if it is an inexorable truth.

How not to be a V-Day Ass on Facebook
Sites gladly publish these studies because it's convenient to do so and also because many readers have a weakness for insight into their relationships, or lack thereof. If easy answers don't exist, we'll find a way to conjure some up.

A typical headline -- published last year right before Valentine's Day, of course -- reads "In a Bad Relationship? New Study Says You Can Blame Your Parents."

Maybe your Mr. Right is all wrong.
Most researchers restrain themselves from being so bold as to say "BLAME THIS!" but in effect, this is what all these blog posts that result from all these studies are offering.
We all want something to blame other than ourselves. My boyfriend isn't doing the dishes? It's because he's tall! Why isn't my husband as good with the baby as I imagined? It's because he's clean-shaven! More
Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack
If Fatty Boom Boom wants to treat me nice, I'll take BDSM-abuse from Christian Grey!

Let's Get Proactive to Get Boyfriends!
Chapter III: "The 9 Types of Boyfriends" (Matt Groening/"Life in Hell"

If men can, I can too
(AllCheckeredOut, Summer 2014) Here is a video of me "hitting" on strangers to be proactive and get more numbers, more attention, and more quality dates from guys I'm actually interested in. Why always wait for them? How are you going to find "Mr. Right" that way?

(YouTube/ In this short video I reveal a few techniques
and pickup lines for modern females on meeting and connecting with males.

COMMENT: (Matt Fairbrass2) I do wish more women would approach guys, rather than the social expectation being put on the guy to do the approach. However, the same social contracts still apply, and as shown simply being cute and walking up to guys demanding that they put their number in your phone is not the way to go about it. [Live and learn, and have fun while you're learning. Here's a short education.]
Hey, guys, should you be Confident or Shy?
(SoFloComedy) Shy Guy versus Confident Guy: Picking Up Women. What do women want?

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