Thursday, April 26, 2018

How we snuck into Coachella (video)

PeaceLoveCaitlin; You Know; Nameless; Brandon Brown; Connery Callaway; Barbu; Marc Phelps; Niki D; Seth Auberon, Dev, Crystal Quintero, Pat Macpherson (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly
Remember, Step 1, rationalize the h*ll out of what you're doing, and blame Mr. Coachella for being a jerk. If when caught, start talking like this and bore security to death.
(You Know, April 20, 2016) "Pure adrenaline!" comments Thomas Weinreich. SONG: "Opus" by Eric Prydz, used without permission, natch. Disclaimer: You Know is now serving a 48 hour sentence in his room for talking back to his mom when she said he could not borrow her car to drive out to the desert with his pothead friends again this year. Eh, buy a car, dude, or at least refill her tank when you use it. What kind of society are we living in?

WARNING: If you play by the rules, this will upset you. If you don't, laugh. Be happy some people circumvent the corporate power structure's money-milking mousetrap. Plan A: When sneaking into Coachella for free, which is impossible, take Tiger Mountain by strategy:

Bring a bandana as a dust- and sunblock. Scope out the perimeter. Find and exploit weaknesses in the unmonitored miles of fencing. Be in good shape to jump; bend knees when you land. Then get ready to walk...all weekend long. And after all that trouble and excitement...end up at the front entrance gates? WTH?

(Well, it's a good way to avoid the steep parking fees, we guess, if you guys don't mind parking your mom's car somewhere where it might get towed and where you can't access it to camp, which is required because where will you sleep overnight when the curfews are imposed as one part of the polo field is closed at night until the next day, and you have to sneak in all over again?)

What it's really like inside: Dusty walking

Notice all of the WALKING everyone is doing? That's what "Coachella" is -- walking, waiting in line, and paying through the nose after you arrive.

Anyway, Plan B: Play dumb. It's not like these people get paid that much, so sometimes they just don't care that much. Just walk through. And when stopped, questioned, or caught, RUN! Blend in. Getting in for free is impossible. It's not happening, and neither is this:

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