How to pick a fun new gender in 3 steps

I was born a boy assigned my sex and gender at birth. Then I said, "O hell no!" I'm trans!

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The Rainbow looks so cute as bottom to the S&S!

Happy gay month, everyone! It's time for PRIDE, which now celebrates every permutation of sexuality and gender fluidity. Want to be poly-bi-platinum-goldstar-xe? That's sensational, xe! Whaddya got rockin' under those skorts? None of our business? Right on! Now, hope you come to the meeting to explain it to Gen. Florg, and fly that freak flag like it's an original idea. Now we can all be Anais Nin and call ourselves "free."

Space alien confused as Earth leaders try to explain human gender

Thank you, God (Gnostic "Demiurge"), for giving us MEN and all these little BOYS, too!

Let me give you a little backrub here, Pope, and you try to hold down your excited pointer.

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Trans (Helen Joyce)

(The Babylon Bee) General Florg from the planet Graxon V has visited Earth -- but he's having trouble understanding humans as he's never encountered a species with so many multiplying genders. Earth leaders try to explain.

(Of course, the real problem is that humans and leaders don't understand either. When no one agrees, anyone can say anything, and we all HAVE TO go along or we're some kind of sexist heteronormative secretly-gay pigs!)

How to choose a fun gender: 3 Steps

The Babylon Bee Guide to Gender

First, get the book, The Babylon Bee Guide to Gender. Second, pick a wording and pronoun from the 437 currently available, one that suits you. Don't skimp. The world is your oyster, and grammar doesn't matter at all. Definitions are included or write a new one.

Third, for general guidance, you may want to see which makes your dad the most upset. No dad? No problem. Ask a coach, uncle, drill instructor, sergeant, or scout leader. On second thought, avoid scout leaders.

Lost in Trans Nation (Grossman)

Viola! You now have a FUN gender you're happy with (and can change at any time whatsoever even post-surgery) to foist on everyone else who you can legally coerce to recognize and call you.

Now to pick a more fun SEX... Have you considered the U.S. military and the experimental vaccinations and environmental chemicals they will force you to endure and be exposed to even in bootcamp? It's a gay old time now, with lots of "friendly fire" from superior officers and horny bunkmates, fellas!

"Don't ask, don't tell"? - Ask! Tell! Let your freak flag fly, Fella!

Satan asks Democrats to tone down the evil

Dems should be openminded like Log Cabin Rs

(The Babylon Bee) Premiered May 17, 2024: In a regularly scheduled marketing meeting with Democrats, Satan asks them to tone down all the evil just a little bit.

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If Ivan (ka) were a boy, I'd be gay. (Trump)

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• The Babylon Bee; I. Rony, CC Liu, Seth Auberon, Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly