The Difference Between Anger and Hate
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| This is the text of last week's Peace Class |
When we choose to feel our emotions fully, when we choose to lean into our emotions with self-witnessing, self-kindness, self-gentleness, and self-love, while wrapping the deeper self, the inner self, the childlike self with our compassion, we complete the experience of that emotion and return to a zero point.
We can, at that zero point, consciously choose our actions. If we want, we can choose actions that build a peaceful world.
We can do this because we have held ourselves with kindness and support, and we have honored and experienced our emotions, and we have returned to our own center, healed and loved and empowered.
We build with our point of focus. We build with our beliefs. We build with our thoughts, with what we focus on. That's how we build the future.
We can experience the whole range of challenging emotions—anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration—and we can do it with profound self-love and self-kindness and self-gratitude. And when we do, we complete that experience and step into our power.
Building peace is about understanding that there is nothing more powerful than the individual because the individual builds the world by way of its point of focus. What is a powerful group but many powerful individuals all sharing focus at once?
We are more powerful than any collective force around us. The world is built by way of the individual: by us. Nothing is more powerful in our system than the focal-point of an individual. There is nothing more powerful than us. We get to choose whether we focus a more peaceful world into being.
What is the full range of emotions? We can go through challenging emotions, like anger and disappointment and frustration, and we can stay in our power by experiencing these emotions lovingly, embracing self while experiencing feelings.
We can get to a zero point, then choose consciously. The other option is to let these emotions carry us like trains that we are not consciously directing into something like hate.
What is hate?
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| How do I begin a journey of peace, Mandy? |
There is a profound difference between anger and hate. Anger is an emotion indicating that there is a part of the self calling to be felt, calling to be loved, calling to be witnessed. Therefore, anger -- like all emotions -- is holy. Anger, like all emotions, is natural. We can respond to its call for self-love by supplying it with self-love. Then that anger has done its job.
Anger is the baby of the self loudly crying out. Just like a baby cries when it needs to be fed, or have its diaper changed, or to be held, anger is the inner self calling for our own self-soothing, our own self-compassion, our own self-love.
When we feel anger, we are being asked to supply that unconditional love to the self at that moment. And when we do, we heal the self. We prove to the self that our love is there.
Just as a caring parent who responds to a crying baby proves it is there to care for that baby, we can respond to the crying baby of the self with love, and we can heal and soothe that self.
We can show the self we are loved-without-end. That is the opportunity of anger.
If we do not respond to that anger with self-love, it can become a train-car that carries us towards hate. Hatred builds future violence, and future war, when it enters the collective consciousness. If we want to build a world with more violence in it, hate is the tool to use.
But if we want to build a peaceful world and a compassionate world and a loving world, then listen to emotions. Listen to the self calling out for love, and supply that love. Be the loving parent to the holy self. Supply that love and soothe that self.
Every challenging emotion is simply an invitation for self-love. We can deliver that self-love. When we do, we complete the emotion's cycle, step into our empowerment, and then we can say, "Great, I've had that emotion, and I've responded with self-love. I've completed that cycle. Now, what do I want to build with my power?"
If we want to build a peaceful world, compassion-for-all-beings will get us there. Love-for-all-beings will get us there. A peaceful mind, an empty mind, an open mind, a silent mind will get us there. Love of nature will get us there.
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| Hate unites us (with other haters) |
If we engage hate, let's be aware of what we are building. If we engage in cruel judgments of others, let's know what we're building. If we know our tools and choose consciously what we want, that's what we are working to build consciously. (Otherwise, we're building something quite unconsciously).
We are here to exercise freewill. And we are observed by way of the universe with compassion and love and non-judgment. We are safe to choose, and we are free to choose. We can build a compassionate world by carrying compassion, and we can build a peaceful world by carrying peace. We can build a compassionate world by ogling the ocean, by looking at the soil, by witnessing a stand of trees. Just gazing at a forest with love builds a loving future.
If today is a hard day, sit under a tree and let that tree offer its support. Mother Nature is love-without-end. We are so loved in all our emotions. Emotions are natural.
It is natural that there is a part of us that is calling for love, and it is natural that there are parts of our neighbors that are calling for love. If we answer this moment with compassion-for-all-beings, we build a compassionate world.
A moment of division is the most potent and possible time for peacebuilding because it allows the largest opportunity for change.
If we are interested in building a peaceful future, consider planting compassion-for-all-beings into this moment of division. Consider carrying compassion-for-all-beings within, even as many around us carry something quite different.
The Buddha often gave his closest disciples (nuns and monks) a reflection: We will be love in a world of hate, we will be honest in a world of lies (dishonesty), we will be gathered and still in a world of scattering and distraction. He used nicer words, but this is the gist of it.
The Buddha taught peace? - Yes!
This historic moment is fertile soil for worldbuilding, for peacebuilding, for compassion-building, for loving change.
Even in challenging times, we can hold the self in love, and we can hold our neighbors in compassion. When we do that consciously, we choose our future consciously. And we do it with our full power.
Peace Class, which normally meets Wednesdays at 6:00 pm (Pacific) is now on summer break until September. To join us, click on Zoom link when we return. Until then, be in peace.
Peace Class
Smile? Why bother? What'll that change? - Wednesdays at 6:00 pm (Pacific Time)
- Join Zoom Meeting: us02web.zoom.us/j/82150472713
- Meeting ID: 821 5047 2713
- Feel free to share link with friends because all are welcome at Peace Class.
Every year, Peace Class goes on hiatus from July through September. Last week was the final class before our summer break.
- Mandy Kahn (mandykahn.com), PRS.org; edited by Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly
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