Thursday, November 24, 2011

An All-American Thanksgiving (cartoon)

Wisdom Quarterly
Lulzshirts


"I am always doing that which I can not do,
in order that I may learn how to do it."

-PABLO PICASSO

I put on my gloves and took Tom by the neck. Not for me, mind you, I would never touch the stuff, having seen too many downer-birds and toss-outs, foster (farm) children, passing muster onto glistening platters in Norman Rockwell settings.

He pulled. And it angered me. I sliced his [censored] clean through and saw him sputter. I tugged at his mohawk to make sure his spine was dislocated. A compassionate act on my part? He stopped moving.


But even then, even then, his feet stiffened in ecstasy of some transition form here into hereafter. No Great Unknown. Birds, like puppies and kittens, have no souls.

The Great Known -- an old woman's stomach, regurgitated with soft sparkling cider on Thanksgiving as her daughter-in-law exhibits the audacity of a Neanderthal to spring open a can of gelatinous red cranberry sauce and smear it all over good china, retaining its mold, corrugated lines of tin crowning a feast fit for fools, my own in-laws.

I take the hose to it and shower Tom's essence off the grating, amazingly like the human life coursing through my moist veins. I know this because of a cholesterol test I took recently. Hypodermic needle...
Sure they are kept in the dark for their short, chemical hormone filled lives in cages before being manhandled and slaughtered, but they're not treated that bad.








This is not Kevin. And he is not from Arkansas. It is a hunter with a 100 percent real accent.

No comments: