Thursday, December 4, 2014

The Christian Story of Job ("South Park")

Amber Larson, Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly; South Park; TubeLoob
(South Park) The Book of Job suggests God causes men their pains, even if only to prove a point to his sidekick and hitman the devil, Satan/Lucifer/Beelzebub, and his henchmen the demons.

Job's Character and Wealth (Judeo-Christian Bible, English Standard Version)
There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. He possessed 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys, and very many [human] servants [slaves given by God?], so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east. 

Hey, baby, I'm godly and rich.
His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed[a] God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually.

Satan Allowed to Test Job
"If God doesn't exist, then who wrote the Bible? Think about it!" Oy vey. She's not kidding.
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord [plural gods], and Satan[b] also came among them. The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.”  

God told Satan we could attack Job!
And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears [is in awe of] God and turns away from evil?” 

Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side?

You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.” So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord. More
  1. Job 1:5 The Hebrew word bless is used euphemistically for curse in 1:5, 11; 2:5, 9
  2. Job 1:6 Hebrew the Accuser or the Adversary; so throughout chapters 1-2
(TL) Richard Dawkins (RIP), with the help of animation and new software, comes to life: The best reason to be a fear stricken Christian is the hypothetical question, "What if you're wrong?" If one believes atheism -- or any other religion -- one is in big trouble. The only safe thing to do is believe Christianity, cower in fear, ask no challenging questions, and just do as one is told. It's the Christian way. Is it any wonder membership rates and church attendance is dropping to such dismal depths?

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