Showing posts with label maitri. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maitri. Show all posts

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Mandy Kahn: I can LOVE you regardless


I can love you regardless of your views
Universal unconditional agape love is metta.
Friends, Peace Class will soon resume after its summer hiatus, as will the Deep Dive Poetry series. Peace Class is held Wednesdays at 6:00 pm (PT) via Zoom. No signup is required. Poetry is monthly and held live in Hollywood inside the Philosophical Research Society's Library of World Religions (prs.org).

When we meet someone, do we wait to see what they will say to determine whether or not we can love them? Do we find that we are constantly evaluating people's ways of seeing, ways of believing, to determine whether we can love them?


We bring about great healing when we are able to say, "Whatever you believe, I hold unconditional love for you. I am aware of my own beliefs; I do not need to fear your ideas. I honor your path. I can honor you and hold love for you regardless of your ideas."
31 categories of rebirth planes
Ideas and worldviews evolve over the course of one lifetime or many lifetimes (rebirths). While our ideas may change, we do not shift in and out of lovability. We are inherently, innately, intimately lovable. And wherever we are in our transition and evolution of beliefs, I am able to love you.

In fact, I cannot help but love you, knowing your inherent lovability—your innate worth. All are worthy of my unconditional love, as all are aspects of divinity in expression and exploration.

As we explore, as we try on worldviews (outlooks, paradigms, points of view), we are able to hold love for one another. Changes in our worldview will not mean less love from us. Our love is constant; our worthiness of love is constant.

Monthly Deep Dive Poetry at PRS Library
By embracing the other wherever we currently are in our journey—the human journey of beliefs and worldviews—we embrace the journey itself. The journey leads to peace. And evolution leads to choosing peace.

All beings are evolving from wherever they are towards choosing peace. When peace is finally chosen, a living being has fully evolved. All that precedes that is an exploration of the human experience.

We can love each other no matter what.
Because all exploration eventually leads to choosing peace, all exploration is ultimately part of the "peacening" process. Peace is the destination of all human exploration, without exception.

I embrace you on your human journey, which is a journey towards peace. When we choose to love others regardless of their views or where they are on their human journey, we heal -- we heal ourselves, we heal collective wounds of rejection and judgment, and we heal the person before us with our unconditional love.

Unconditional love (metta, agape) is the energy of pure healing. We share that pure healing when we share that love-without-limits.
  • Is it love when we see everyone as special?
    Ancient Greeks spoke of six kinds of "love":
  1. divine unconditional love (agape),
  2. familial love (storge),
  3. friendly or platonic love (philia),
  4. erotic or romantic love (eros),
  5. self-love (philautia), and
  6. guest love (xenia).
Modern authors have distinguished even more varieties of love. Many other cultures also distinguish the many kinds of "love" as mettā, kama, bhakti, ishq, ren, yuanfen, mamihlapinatapai, cafuné, chesed, amore, charity, compassion in action (karuna), saudade (and other variants and symbioses of these states).
  • There are even more forms love that English speakers could be lacking because there exist culturally unique words, definitions, and expressions.
I'm in it for Me, Myself, and I.
It is the lower mind that wants to withhold love. It is the lower mind that wants to carefully evaluate each person before us to determine whether that person is "worthy" of love. Only the lower mind can be convinced that a person is unworthy of love.

The heart knows the inherent worthiness of all living beings. The heart does not labor to love. The heart loves by its nature. The heart leads us towards love-without-end.

Give me that heart, Buddha! - With joy, friend
The lower mind leads us towards a start-stop kind of love—a conditional love that might better be described as affection, bias, or favor rather than universal mettā.

It is a lot of work for the lower mind to constantly assess the lovability of each person and each idea.

We can love, and we can choose

The Buddha's mind was in his heart
The heart knows that every worldview is simply part of a human experience being explored and all explorations are towards finally choosing peace.

When we ask our hearts to lead, our hearts lead with wise discernment, not judgments. Our hearts can discern which idea best resonates with us. The heart determines then chooses—embraces—that which resonates.

An idea is chosen, whereas others are simply allowed and not chosen.

If the lower mind rejects some person's idea, it also rejects that person. The heart can choose or not choose a person's idea yet can still hold love for the person.

We can lead with our heart toward all.
When we are heart-led, we do not fear any ideas. We simply choose them or leave them unchosen. We do not need to reject idea-holders to “remain safe” from their ideas. A person in balance can simply choose the idea s/he resonates with and hold love and space for all the idea-holders whose ideas were not chosen.

We can honor everyone at every place on their journey. No rejection is required. Love can be total, universal, unconditional (metta, agape).

Choosing can be used to navigate. Choosing led by love is all that is needed. As we encounter others, we may employ the following phrases to navigate with love:
  • I do not choose this idea. Simultaneously, I hold love for this person.
  • I choose this idea. Simultaneously, I hold love for this person.
  • I observe this idea, neither choosing it nor not choosing it. Simultaneously, I hold love for this person.
The Buddha's heart of love (佛爱之心)
We can navigate this world by choosing and loving all. Nothing additional is required to navigate. Rejection is not required.

The lower mind can be taught that it is one's responsibility to reject a person who carries an idea we do not choose. But the heart knows that every person is inherently worthy of love, just as every part of us is inherently worthy of love.

The heart also knows that when we reject others, we simultaneously reject a part of ourselves because we are all connected aspects of the same human organism.

Thus, when we reject others, we reject a part of ourselves, and we experience the wound of that rejection.

Rejected and left behind once again!!
Rejection wounds unilaterally: It wounds the rejected, it wounds the rejector (oneself), and it wounds the collective, which retains that rejection energy.

Rejection builds fear among the not-yet-rejected which blocks creativity, blocks new ideas, and blocks freedom of expression. It encourages people to be less fully themselves.

I love and accept you, so let's start to heal.
Love heals unilaterally: It heals the accepted (the other), it heals the acceptor (oneself), and it heals all (the collective). Whereas the energy of rejection builds fear, the energy of love-without-end builds safety. And it seeds peace. It seeds a peace-without-end.

When one steps from judgment and to discernment—when one chooses to navigate by way of choosing and simultaneously by loving—with each choice, a being is healing the collective.

Peace Class Wednesdays (prs.org)
That being is healing past wounds that were created from judgment and rejection. One is laying the foundation for a world that has evolved past fear—one in which peace is the standard, one in which there is the honoring of all beings. And in that honoring, there is the great realization of full selfhood.

Is your poetry as peaceful as your class?
There is ever-flowing creativity, and there is the profound joy of choosing and loving, again and again, from a place of perfect freedom and total possibility, to act towards others with peace.
See everyone very soon,

Mandy Kahn (Instagram, Facebook)
  • Mandy Kahn, text Nov. 29, 2023; edited by Dhr. Seven Aug. 15, 2026, Wisdom Quarterly
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Friday, April 5, 2024

One Million Acts of Kindness 😨


Bogart and his friend Bob (OMAK)
One Million Acts of Kindness is the goal, a goal for each person to individually perform 1,0000,000 acts of kindness in this life.

Can anyone imagine a greater goal for one’s life? [Yes, we can think of two things, bcoming a "noble one" (any of the stages of enlightenment) or doing one million and one acts.]

Let's develop a constant mindset (heart) of loving-kindness (called metta in Buddhism) every day of our lives for the next 55 years.


Dad, let's join OMAK! - Shut up, I'm drinking!
Do what? Do for others (with kind friendliness in our hearts). For whom? For everyone! It is Founder Bob Votruba's wish that each of us dedicate our lives to a charity…finding the passion in our heart for some cause, some need, someone, or something that can use our help to help others.

Can I start with my dog, Whitey Bogart-Jones?
As a father of three college-age kids, the founder is concerned for a world in which all future kids will live.

A great way to create a safer, more caring world is for everyone to start a lifetime goal of OMAK (One Million Acts of Kindness).

So Bob bought a bus.

Hop onboard the Kindness Bus
The he had about 60 family members, friends, and neighbors help paint. So began a 10-year journey, with "Bogart," his Boston terrier, to college campuses across the country, hoping to convince as many Americans as possible about this much-needed movement for the world.


When we are as kind to others as we are to ourselves, we'd better be very kind to ourselves. :)
Oh, Buddha, how can I be kind to anyone when I can't even be kind to myself? - Meditate.
.
Loving-kindness (metta) in practice
I love all y'all too much to sit back and not do anything. Let’s start a kindness movement! Where? In this country. When? Today! Why? To change the direction of the world and where we are all headed!

We are the change this world needs. We are trying to offer inspiration to those wanting to better themselves by leading a lifetime of constantly spreading kindness to others. Mission

They're bullying me at school for being weird! - Oh, dear I'll never let this happen.
.
Ride for life and kindness
An 8-year ride for kids to put an end to bullying and adolescent suicide. In Year 3 of the mission, Bob introduced a bicycle ride to his travels to raise awareness about issues kids have to deal with when they are far too young.

Bullying and adolescent suicide are two of these challenges, burdens most kids will unfairly have to overcome throughout the remainder of their lives. At rides' end, we will have biked enough miles to travel the perimeter of the known Earth, twice. The mission of this ride is one focus: to save kids' lives.

A: What can one man do? A: Start a movement?
How to save a life... Be kind. We have no idea what impact our actions have, can have, or have had. More

Help Bogart and Bob spread the message of a goal of kindness to schoolchildren across the country. Donations are crucial to making kindness a reality.

Bogart wrote a book with Bob
  • Mail donations to:
  • One Million Acts of Kindness
  • P.O. Box 770054
  • Lakewood, Ohio 44107
  • Donate by PayPal
  • (the safer, easier way to move money online)
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    Monday, March 11, 2024

    Metta is agape: loving unconditionally

    LaKeisha Fleming, reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD (verywellmind.com, March 8, 2024); Ven. Sujato (SuttaCentral.net); expanded by Amber Larson and Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly
    .
    I mean, I eros you. - WHAT?! - I mean, I agape!
    Imagine turning to your date and saying, "I love you." That person turns and says, "Ugh, whaddya mean?" The whole world stops, and your next few words will make or break everything.

    The ancient Greeks had seven words for what we in English ambiguously term "love":
    1. eros
    2. philia
    3. erotoropia or ludus
    4. storge
    5. philautia
    6. pragma
    7. agápe.
    All of them have different meanings with origins going back to about the seventh century B.C.E., says Dr. Marie-Claire Beaulieu, Ph.D. associate professor of classical studies at Tufts University. But the distinctions are relevant to our modern world. More

    The Buddha on the benefits of metta (love)
    Ven. Sujato (trans), Mettā Sutta (AN 11.15) edited by Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly
    .
    Love's a turnstile that requires no token (J Frank)
    [The Buddha:] “Meditators, one can expect 11 benefits when the heart’s release by love has been practiced, cultivated, and developed, made a vehicle and a basis, kept up (persisted in), consolidated, and properly implemented. What are they?
    Love is a light that gives 'n gives.
    1. One sleeps at ease.
    2. One wakes happily.
    3. One is not beset by bad dreams.
    4. Humans love one.
    5. Non-humans love one.
    6. Deities (devas) protect one.
    7. One cannot be harmed by fire, poison, or blade. [This is true when one enters or is in absorption because of the imponderable range of influence and power of the absorptions (jhanas).]
    8. One's mind quickly enters absorption (stillness, immersion, samadhi).
    9. One's face is clear and bright.
    10. One passes away with a clear and contented mind/heart.
    11. If one penetrates no higher [to the supramundane attainments through insight meditation], one will be reborn in a brahmā (divine) realm [if one enters and maintains one of the absorptions as one passes away, and which one will determine the world was is reborn in].
    One can expect these 11 benefits when the heart’s release by love (metta/agape) has been practiced, cultivated, and developed, made a vehicle and a basis, kept up, consolidated, and properly implemented.” Source

    Agape love: The art of loving unconditionally
    An ancient concept for modern relationships
    .
    I love you, Human. I'll just sit here like you do.
    Our companion animal dog means everything. He’s cute and cuddly and always there when we need him, so we love him. But it’s not the same way we love our sister, or how we love our spouses.

    And it’s definitely not the way we love to listen to music, watch TV, football, or read a good book.

    In fact, in the West, it seems only the Greek language, derived from the Ancient Greek language, has different words that speak to these different types of love.

    I may look innocent, but...LOL
    “Eros love [cupidity] focuses on passion [and] is wrapped in attraction and desire. Storge love is a brotherly [fraternal] love, where affection is reciprocal. In Ludus, love, fun, and adventure are its purpose, combined with physical attraction,” explains clinical psychologist Aura De Los Santos [whose name, interestingly, means "Subtle-Light of the Saints"].

    Agape love, however, is less focused on us and more focused on those around us. “Agape [metta, maitri, altruistic universal friendliness] love goes beyond physical attraction and desire because it thinks of others first. It does not focus on what it will receive but always satisfaction in giving and seeing how others feel,” De Los Santos states.

    “In one of his works, the Greek philosopher Plato refers to the different types of love, with agape love being the most selfless and unconditional type of love.”

    Agape love goes beyond physical attraction and desire because it thinks of others first.
    — AURA DE LOS SANTOS, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

    Often, agape love is referred to as the highest form of love because of its selfless ideals. It’s a historic concept for love that has endured to have a lasting impact.
    Understanding agape love

    i luv u not as much as my coffee
    First used in the 1600s, agape (pronounced \ah-gah-pay\) is a Greek word that means “[universal, altruistic] love, charity.”

    Agape love is used heavily in Buddhism, where it is called metta (boundless friendliness) and made much of by the Buddha as an antidote to one of the Poisons of the Mind called dosa, aversion, hatred, animosity, fear).

    In Christianity it describes “the love of God for [humanity] and the love of [humans] for God.” [In Hinduism, the Sanskrit maitri means "all-welcoming friendliness."]

    Disciples, love one another.
    The word agape became synonymous with a meal associated with the Lord’s supper that was held by early Christians. They called the meal a “love feast” [1].

    Keeping with its original purpose of charity and unselfish giving, agape’s definition has grown.

    “Agape love is unconditional, never dependent on reciprocity [receiving in return], and given freely in the most challenging times," states Domenique Harrison, MPH, LMFT, LPCC.

    Two religions, one message: love everyone.
    "The provider of agape love gives selflessly, expansively, and intentionally for the vitality of the receiver. Individuals who provide agape have a felt sense of loving responsibility and devotion [to] the receiver; they do not expect anything in return for their love," she explains.

    While many kinds of love can have similar characteristics, the traits of agape love are unique: Agape love is filled with kindness [with metta most often being translated into English as "loving-kindness"] and wants only the best for the other person. Agape love accepts others unconditionally, with no expectations of being reciprocated.

    Buddhism's Goddess of Compassion is a transformed Vedic Avalokiteshvara, a Mother Mary.
    This would be tremendous merit if these monastics achieve absorption or any of the four stages of awakening. To give even to an ordinary person is merit; to give to a moral person is more powerful; to give to noble person (stream enterer to arhat) is merit stored up for many lives. See The Workings of Karma by the awakened Pa Auk Sayadaw).
    .
    Who is the greater beneficiary, giver or receiver?
    Agape love sacrifices for the good of the other person. It can sometimes even be viewed as a thankless type of love. Agape love is not envious, proud, or boastful. Agape love is patient, giving others grace. It doesn’t hold grudges.

    “Agape is a way to love someone that accepts and embraces the wholeness of each person without reservation,” notes Dr. Daniel Boscaljon, Ph.D., executive coach and founder of the Healthy Workplace Academy.
    • What is Greek for self-love? Biblical Onanism?
      [COMMENTARY: The key difference between Buddhist and Christian views of karma (the idea that "we reap what we sow") is that in Christianity it is God noticing and rewarding, whereas in Buddhism it is an impersonal law of the universe, as if we or the universe notice and we and the universe bring forth fruit of seeds previously sown. "God" by many Christians is understood to just be a way of personalizing and making comprehensible the transcendent, the imminent, the incomprehensible. Like, imagine a GOD so great, a Brahman (the Reality behind all of the illusion) as the Vedas and Hinduism would say, that works itself out, and in that sense, that GOD is not separate from us or the ego or the selfish sense-of-separation we call "I." Then not being different, Thou art that and That thou art (Tat Tvam Asi). So what is altruism in right view but self-love and love for other and the very same thing? And Jesus (Issa) said, "Love the other and hate yourself," right? The good rabbi said no such thing. He said, "Love the other just as you love yourself." Well, if I don't love myself first, how shall I love another? Probably as well as I love myself, which isn't well at all because I thought I was supposed to hate myself (and sacrifice with resentment and expectations) to love others better.
    • I better dig two ditches bcuz I want you to lose.
      There's a better view, a secular Western philosophical tenet dubbed "enlightened self-interest." It means realizing that helping others is helping ourselves. Any good guru will tell you it is us we are releasing when we forgive. Ask Jesus. Ask Krishna (the All Attractive), Vishnu (the Preserver), Brahma (the Creator), Mohammed (the Prophet), even Shiva (the Destroyer) knows it. Even a selfish person (the "I") might already realize it. In selfishness, I keep all the seeds and reap all the fruit and keep all the seeds from that fruit and get all the more fruit during the next reaping. No one else gets anything except that they beg it from me. I become a King Monsanto, King of Kings, and no one eats unless they pay me! I'll sure be popular then, won't I? Actually, until disaster strikes, even long before then, everyone will hate me.
    • I don't know. Both of you make so much sense.
      Instead, thinking ahead, I give seeds to everyone. And everyone had fruit, and everyone gave, and whenever disaster struck for anyone, we helped one another and were all strong. There was always fruit even when I didn't raise a finger of effort to plant any, and back then our collective "orchards" were called the Great Forest. Oh yeah. That's how nature works. And it is in my enlightened self-interest to help my neighbor and do unto others as I would have it done to me. Oh, maybe that's why the world calls that the Golden Rule. Everyone likes gold.
    • Ah, the religions agree: love, love, love
      This is summarized not only by the Buddha in many ways singing the praises of metta (universal friendliness) in this direction, in that direction, in every direction, all ten thousand directions, but very tersely in a nice Jewish story where a rabbi will win a convert if he can explain the whole of The Law (Halakha, all 613 Commandments that Judeo-Christianity turned into a handy stone tablet of Ten of the biggies to rule and oppress the subjects of the Holy Roman Empire), "The Way to Behave," in brief. The wise rabbi does: "What is hateful to you, don't do that. That's the whole of the Law; the rest is commentary" (The Forward). See Judaism’s Golden Rule (aish.com). Or the slogan, "Whatever you yourself like, treat others that way" serves as a shorthand so we always know what to do in any situation.]
    Kwan Yin (Guanyin, Kwannon)
    "It's intimate, able to recognize and appreciate someone’s wholeness — even if that person can’t."

    The entire mindset behind agape love is selfless sacrificial service [called seva in Hinduism and Sikhism] to others.

    While it may seem a lofty ideal, striving to exhibit this type of love can have a positive impact on our relationships, on our environment, and on society at large.
    The impact of agape love
    Modern Christianity emphasizes the God as Love message more than the Old Testament did.

    Agape is skillful karma with happy results.
    We don’t live in an ideal world. That is, our circumstances are less than ideal here. This is not the world of Platonic forms. We are, according to Buddhism, on the lowest of the 31 Planes of Existence (see right) that can be considered "good." It's a precarious place to be. It's all downhill below this, as regards rebirth, with unfortunate beings reborn on and falling into subhuman planes: ghosts, animals, demons, hellions (when all 31 are reduced to 6 general categories, adding humans and light beings or devas above us even though there are many more worlds than this would suggest).

    People are human, and even the most disciplined, selfless individuals have rough days. But if we’re striving to think of others, trying to be considerate, kind people who exercises friendliness and even compassion (Buddhist karuna), and someone who works to show others agape (altruistic) love, it can have a positive impact on us physically, emotionally, and mentally.
    .
    Selfishness is not good, but self-love is.
    “Agape love improves physical well-being because it eliminates much of the unneeded stress caused by repression and rigidity,” says Dr. Boscaljon.

    “Because they experience agape love for themselves, it leads to a deep sense of true acceptance and belonging that leads to mental wellness,” he adds.

    “The practice also improves someone’s emotional well-being, offering a sense of deep connection and meaningful belonging to each situation.”

    Research backs this up, showing that being kind and helping others improves your mental health [2.]

    We feel good when we can genuinely help someone else. That altruistic feeling shows up in many ways in our everyday lives.

    Cultivating agape love

    Avalokita hears the cries of the world
    The popular “pay it forward” idea, where we’re in a fast-food line and pay for the person behind us without their knowledge, is a relatable example of agape love in action.

    Watching a person in the grocery store line struggle to pay for his or her items and stepping up to provide payment with no motive other than wanting to help, is a gesture that shows agape love.

    Putting aside what we’re doing to listen to someone who is going through a hard time or who is lonely is an act that demonstrates agape love.

    When we extend that type of generosity into our relationships — whether it’s our friends, associates, parents, siblings, or significant other — it can have a revolutionary impact that extends beyond us.

    From...Depression to Hope
    “A commitment to agape love can absolutely transform one’s relationship with [oneself] or others,” Dr. Boscaljon states.

    “The power of respectful acceptance overcomes feelings of guilt, shame, and hopelessness in one’s own life. It enhances a sense of communion and community. It can then extend this to others in meaningful and empowering ways,” he concludes. Original unedited version: verywellmind.com

    Sources
    1. Online Etymology Dictionary: agape.
    2. Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 2018;76:320-329.
    • Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within articles.
    AUTHOR: LaKeisha Fleming is a prolific writer with over 20 years of experience writing film and television scripts, magazine articles and digital content. She is passionate about parenting and family as well as destigmatizing mental health issues. Her book, There Is No Heartbeat: From Miscarriage to Depression to Hope, is authentic, transparent, and provides hope to many.
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