(Dr. Rena Malik, M.D.) Why millions of women watch porn. (It's not what men think). That's impossible, Dr. Malik! Everyone knows women have no libido, interest, and sense of adventure. They're ashamed, prudes, introverted, afraid, cowards, totally not curious, pure, virginal, chaste, and completely content sitting on the sidelines watching men do sports. Surely, you're talking about another country, not the good old U.S. of A., which is all puritanical and uptight for our womenfolk. Next you'll be saying they enjoy sex or have orgasms.
Female toplessness in the USA: indecency that should be prosecuted and punished because it leads to nasty thoughts like humans are some kind of mammals (with mammary glands) or something?
It's called "Being Human" because temptation is a beast
POLYANDRY (Ancient Greek ฯฮฟฮปฯ, polรบ, "many" + แผฮฝฮฎฯ, anแธr, "man") is a form of polygamy in which a female takes two or more husbands at the same time.
Polyandry is contrasted with polygyny, involving one male and two or more females. If a marriage involves a plural number of "husbands and wives" participants of each gender, then it can be called polygamy [1], group or conjoint marriage [2].
Anything he can do, I...
Let's not forget the beautiful practice of polyamory for those who can overcome the venoms of envy and jealousy.
In its broadest use, polyandry refers to sexual relations with multiple males within or without marriage.
Of the 1,231 societies listed in the 1980 Ethnographic Atlas,
186 were found to be monogamous,
453 had occasional polygyny,
588 had more frequent polygyny, and
4 had polyandry [3].
Polyandry is more frequent (less rare) than this figure suggests because it considered only those examples found in the Himalayan Buddhist mountain region (8 societies).
Feminine female power!
More recent studies have found at least 4 other societies practicing polyandry [4]. Fraternal polyandry is practiced among Tibetans in Nepal and parts of China, in which two or more brothers are married to the same female (wife), with that wife having equal sexual access to them [5, 6].
It is associated with partible paternity, the cultural belief that a child can have more than one [legal] father [4].
Several ethnic groups practicing polyandry in India identify their customs with their descent from the female Draupadi, a central character of the Mahabharata (revered in Hinduism) who was married to five brothers, although local practices may not be fraternal themselves.
One husband, one wife? - How bad is a good marriage? Be honest, completely honest
Adam's Eve was his "rescuer."
WHY? Polyandry is believed to be more likely in societies with scarce environmental resources. It is believed to limit human population growth and enhance child survival [6, 7]. It is a rare form of marriage that exists among elite and peasant families [8].
For example, polyandry in the predominantly Buddhist Himalayan mountains is related to the scarcity of land. The marriage of all brothers in a family to the same wife allows family land to remain in the same family's hads undivided.
If every brother married separately and had children, family land would be split into unsustainably small plots.
In contrast, very poor persons who do not own land are less likely to practice polyandry in Buddhist India's Ladakh and Zanskar [6].
In Europe, the splitting up of land was prevented through the social practice of impartible inheritance. With most siblings disinherited, many of them became celibate monks and priests [9]. Buddhism seems to have had a better solution, though the vast majority of male and female Tibetan Buddhists at one time or other became Vajrayana monastics at least for some part of their lives. More
Is this Cro Mag gentleman doing it right? - Uh, no.
The Prince (Italian Il Principe, Latin De Principatibus) is a 16th-century political treatise written by the Italian diplomat, philosopher, and political theorist Niccolรฒ Machiavelli in the form of a realistic instruction guide for new princes. Many commentators have viewed that one of the main themes of The Prince is that immoral acts are sometimes necessary to achieve political glory. More
How to stop being obsessed and finally love in a healthy way
(Venerable Gotami) Nov. 3, 2025: ๐ Every talk, every journey, every video here is part of a lifelong vow — to keep the Dhamma (the Doctrine, the Buddha's Teachings) alive and accessible to everyone, everywhere.
If anyone wishes to support my path and help sustain this mission, donations — no matter how small — become a part of this offering of wisdom and compassion.
Support the sustenance of this Dhamma sharing's path if as each individual wishes:
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Subscribe to this channel to support monthly: @vengotami. ๐ Kindness sustains essential needs — food, transport, medical care, and visas — allowing me to continue offering Dhamma talks, children’s programs, and teachings across the world.
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The first ever recorded kiss [discovered so far] happened 4,500 years ago, scientists suggest after discovering evidence that puts the event 1,000 years earlier than previously thought. A study published in the journal Science points to evidence of kissing in the ancient Middle East, in early Mesopotamian societies, documented in ancient texts from 2,500 BCE.
It's just a "Complicated Game"
XTC (Ecstasy), British band with a deep message in "Dear God"
Ah, romance, it will be the death of us, dragging out our time in samsara (the "Continued Wandering On" of death and rebirth, chasing pleasure first here then there always in search of fulfillment that cannot be found in things.)
(BBC via MSN) Humans do it, monkeys do it, even polar bears do it. And now researchers have reconstructed the evolutionary origins of kissing. Their study suggests that the mouth-on-mouth kiss evolved more than 21 million years ago, and was something that the common ancestor of humans and other great apes probably indulged in.
The same research concluded that Neanderthals may have kissed too – and that [modern] humans and Neanderthals may even have smooched one another. The scientists studied kissing because it presents something of an evolutionary puzzle -- it has no obvious survival or reproductive benefits. Yet, it is something that is seen not just in many human societies, but across the animal kingdom. More
(Plum Village) Thich Nhat Hanh or "Thai" answers questions during a retreat in Plum Village (May 2014).
Question: "If Buddhism supports love for Mother Nature, why doesn't it also support romantic love between two people and demonstrations of affection between two people?
(Plum Village App) Love, Desire, and Intimacy (short teaching video)
From AI girlfriends to Grok Hitler, TDS takes on AI | The Daily Show
Who needs real human flesh models? Considered the $$ advantages of digital simulations?
.
(The Daily Show) Aug. 28, 2025: TDS takes on AI as AI takes over the world: Jon Stewart, Ronny Chieng, and Lewis Black examine how AI has infiltrated modern dating, made itself an integral part of college education, and even turned itself into "MechaHitler" on X. #DailyShow #AI #Grok. Subscribe to The Daily Show: @thedailyshow
Sex is a sticky subject. Uh, mmm, icky finicky touchy (not touchy) sticky subject -- ooh, it's nasty. Don't talk about it! What's brown and sticky? A tree. We aim to unstick it.
See her weekly (Wednesday night) Peace Class at prs.org. The subject this warm month? A theme of passion, romance, getting down and dirty, and summer love with an OPEN MIC segment running throughout the reading. That means YOU can come and read, too.
What is the sound of one hand... Uh, mmm, no, what is the sound of 1,000 jaws dropping?
Just say "no," Adults. No one should have sex. Better those energies were expended following something far more useful. But what could possibly be more useful, or more enjoyable, than sex?
Once the Bodhisattva (Buddha-to-be) reflected, "Why do I, being subject to aging and death, also seek things that are subject to aging and death? What now if I were to seek out that which is beyond aging and death?"
But if everyone dies and everything eventually passes away, what is not subject to aging and death? What is beyond impermanence?
There is one element that has overcome aging and death and that transcends all suffering, that has overcome sorrow, lamentation, and disappointment. And that is the unconditioned element called nirvana.
Nirvana is better than sex? Nirvana is better than anything. Everything else is ultimately disappointing. Why? Everything else is subject to incessant arising and passing away. We cling. It fades. We hurt. We are left empty and dissatisfied. Things reveal themselves to be impersonal, unable to stand independently.
As close as nirvana is, realization of it is a long way away from those who do not practice, who do not apply themselves, who do not determine to realize it in this very life.
Even for such people, there is serenity or samatha meditation, which gives access to amazing levels of bliss, serenity, and -- by adding vipassana on top of right samadhi -- degrees of liberating-insight.
As close as calm-and-insight meditation are, realization serenity or wisdom are a long way away for those who do not practice, who do not determine to realize them in this very life.
There's a reason to sit, a better form of pleasure?
Even for such people, there is virtue, which is a more sublime form of joy (piti, rapture, pleasure, bliss) beyond reproach, beyond blame, worry, or any remorse.
As close as virtue is, it is a long way away for those who do not practice, who do not determine to realize it in this very life.
For such people, endowed with virtue, they may enjoy sex that harms no one and does not involve anyone dependent on others. For those who are independent, self-supporting, who are capable of consenting and making their own decisions. Let's talk about sex between them.
Hey, did you ever consider Tantra?
One need not imagine that sex brings one closer to enlightenment -- as Great Vehicle (Mahayana and esoteric Vajrayana) practitioners following the pre-Buddhist Indian path of yogic Tantra may imagine.
As ordinary householders living in the world -- interested in wealth, prosperity, and personal satisfaction through gain, fame, and endless distractions -- sex may serve that purpose.
It of necessity will be disappointing (dukkha). If it were not, the Buddha would never have pointed out a better path to pursue, a way thing to strive for, a superior form of pleasure. There is another way that goes against the stream (the current, the flow), does not pull one by the floods, does not entangle one in the revolving wheel of rebirth and redeath (samsara).
Is anyone going against the stream?
Noah Levine, scandalized founder of Dharma Punx, Against the Stream, Refuge Recovery
A path to go against the stream
The path of the spiritual revolutionary is a long-term and gradual journey toward awakening (enlightenment, bodhi). If we want a quick fix or easy salvation, this is not it. Turn back now, plug back into The Matrix, and enjoy that delusional existence. The Buddha's Dharma is a path for real rebels, malcontents, and truth seekers. The wisdom and compassion of the Buddha is available to all, but the journey to personal freedom is arduous. It takes a steadfast commitment to Truth and, at times, counterintuitive (against instinct) action. We have at our disposal everything we need to undertake this journey. There is only one prerequisite -- the willingness to play, to do the practice, to follow the path through the darkest recesses of our minds and hearts, to stand in the face of great resistance and fear and continue in the direction of freedom. For those who are willing, the ability is a given. The Buddha isn’t a god or deity to be worshipped. He was a rebel and ford finder (who rediscovered the way crossing over), an overthrower, destroyer of ignorance, the Master Physician who re-found the path to complete freedom from suffering. The Buddha left a legacy of Truth for us to experience for ourselves, not to believe in him. The practices and principles of these Teachings, the Dharma, lead to our direct experience of knowledge, wisdom, compassion, and full liberation. This is not a faith-based philosophy, but an experiential one. The point of the spiritual revolution is not to become a "good Buddhist," but to become a wise and compassionate being, to awaken from our life of complacency and delusion and ignorance and to be a buddha, an awakened being. In order to do this, it is helpful to study the life and teachings of the original rebel, the Wandering Ascetic Sid — the Buddha.
What about love and relationships? That is different. We are talking about sex.
Love is grand. Most people have nothing higher to live for. And as an English word we confound it with all kinds of loves, when it only refers in this context to romantic love, which feels great but is not what people really mean. It is like referring to the prestigious and selfless faculty when one really means the greedy and despised administration or the mishmash of students. "School" means all three, but we put the best face on it.
The same with relationships. They can be great educators, harder to endure than a monastic life. But most are not. We pretend they are because they can be. But most of them, most of the time are not. Yet everyone claps and says "Awww" when anyone gets engaged. Awww, what? Awww, they're going to be so unhappy, and then the world can say to them, "Welcome to the club."
So let's stick to the subject and talk about sex.
Men want sex, it is said.
Yes, so do women -- even though it is said that they do not.
Well, if they repeatedly indulge and stress about it, they will be caught up in stress and disappointment. But that stress is the only happiness they know.
Right! It's like the Buddha comparing sexual craving to a leper's itch. The itch gets so bad, the sores so itchy, that placing an arm over an open fire can feel like a downright relief. Fire cauterizes the wound and so soothes the itch. It keeps one from going crazy, even at the cost of great pain or disfigurement.
If only there were a way not to feel crazy yet not get burned.
We don't have to have wait for heartbreak to feel "burned."
Oh, totally. Good sex, great sex, unreal sex is still disappointing, to say nothing of the mediocre sex we mostly all settle for.
Should independent people have sex?
If they want to. They're free to. They can even do it while practicing virtue (sila). There is no reason for guilt, self-recrimination, or holding wrong views about it. Abstain, it's better, but indulge with a clear conscience that we are not "forbidden" to do it. One day, some days, meditate, too.
They might succeed in meditation.
Successful meditation (jhana, absorption) is better than sex -- full of rapture, joy, and supersensual bliss called piti.
I've heard. But how could bliss be supersensual?
There's a higher bliss, a better form of pleasure that is not dependent on the body or bodily feelings and pleasant sensations.
You think?
I know.
Then why would anyone go back to sex as a source of relief or attempted-happiness?
Those blissful states aren't always available to everyone; they take practice, which takes persistence and a little commitment. They are not permanent or reliable all the time. I mean, they are always there but not always available to everyone. We have base cravings and very strong habits.
Restraint is good.
Yes, it is great. But that's not always what the mind wants. And the mind usually gets what the mind wants.
That's for sure. The body is weak compared to the mind even when the spirit is willing.
How To (video); Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells (ed.), Wisdom Quarterly, orig. 12/15/11-4/23/24; Noah Levine on going against the stream (edited by Wisdom Quarterly)
For Father’s Day tell us a story about how a father-figure in your life has taught you a life lesson about Buddhism — whether it was intentional or not as is the case with most “dad” lessons.
Hallie Ewig and her hip hop gangster rap dad
Hallie Ewig (she/her/hers) University of Washington, Class of 2022: “For as long as I can remember, my dad has exclusively listened to hip-hop music. When I was little, instead of listening to pop artists on the car radio, he would play artists like Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., and Wu-Tang Clan from his iPod. I never really understood why he listened to music most parents would find “profane.” One time I asked him, “Dad, why do you listen to songs with bad words in them?”
He responded by turning up the volume and saying, “Just listen to the lyrics, Mika.” If you really listen to the lyrics, you can see that all of these Black artists are sharing a common theme intertwined with the swear words: systemic racism. My dad has been exposing me to Black oppression before I was even old enough to understand it.
He taught me that it is important to not only listen to others but to do so with compassion, and music is a great place to start. Even though we face our own racism as Asian-Americans, we must be compassionate to the struggles of others so that we can unite to overcome them together. Black men, women, children, members of the LGBTQ+ community, dreams, and futures [all] matter. They have always mattered, and they will forever matter. Thank you, Dad, for everything!” More:The Young Buddhist Editorial
QUESTION:It's Father's Day. How would a Western follower of the Buddha make use of this celebration?
How and why would a "modern" or "Western" follower of the Buddha's Teaching celebrate this day and use it to give gratitude to his or her father as one of his/her first gods and the other three gods?
Maybe readers would like to share also how you fulfill their personal duty to give others inspiration and ideas. This mean not being greedy but instead sharing possible merits you have.
(Note: This question is given as a gift of Dhamma and not for commercial purpose or meant for worldly gain.) Source:Buddhism Stack Exchange
The Buddha’s Legacy as a Father
Ven. Rahula, the Buddha, and Ananda
The San Mateo Buddhist Temple warmly welcome all to join the community in person for its Family Dharma Service on Sunday, June 15, 2025. On the occasion of Father’s Day, Rev. Adams will share a Dharma Talk about the legacy that Sakyamuni Buddha left for his son Rahula and how the Buddha’s compassionate care for all beings was like the concern of parents for their only child. The Buddha's Legacy as a Father (June 15) - San Mateo Buddhist Temple
Wisdom Quarterly COMMENTARY
Do you love me, Daddy? - More than life itself.
Was Prince Siddhartha loved by his father? The story/allegory of the Buddha's life makes that clear, unless he was a narcissist trying to live through his child, as even many non-narcissists do. King Suddhodana doted on his beloved son, the prince and future chief of the Scythians/Indo-Sakas. He wanted for his son what he wished for himself -- world dominion, the role of "world monarch" (chakravartin). The Brahmin soothsayers said it would be so IF only the boy were pampered and kept from seeing the world as it really was. For the son so loved the world that he came back to save everyone.
A father with a father and wife
Sid married at 16 and had a son at 29. Realizing it was now or never, he set off on a quest.
In this anachronistic, Western-informed fantasy, Samsara (2001), beautiful Yasodhara rips selfish Siddhartha for daring to leave his family to pursue his own fame, glory, and good times.
It's sad to reflect that most Westerners do not know who the Buddha was, their heads having been filled up with popular misconceptions of a fat happy Budai or Herman Hesse's book Siddhartha (which the careful reader will note is NOT about the Buddha but another guy named Siddhartha) which tangentially touches on the story of the Buddha's life.
Hesse's novel mirrors Everyman's Tale, the Hero's Journey, based on the allegorical story of the Buddha's life in general. Some of the Buddha's life story is not even about this Buddha but previous ones the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) mentioned when teaching about previous supremely enlightened teachers (samma-sam-buddhas) who had arisen in this world.
Buddhist Madonna and Child
We forget that Siddhartha G. was a father because what are we all taught? That's right, that he abandoned the family (renounced the palace) for the easygoing life of a spiritual nomad, a wandering mendicant answering to no one with all the fun and palaver of going East on a spiritual quest. What could be more fun and full of good times? All that yoga and sitting around, no job, talking to other groovy hippies with long hair and beards on the Hippie Highway to Magadha and Bihar.
(Dalai Lama) Mothers are kind, and fathers
are left to be the unpopular tough ones.
The prince leaves his wife, Yasodhara (Bimba Devi), never meets his kid (Rahula or "Bondage"), says "fudge you" to the Ol' Man (King Suddhodana), not even a wave his mother-aunt (his mother, Queen Maya's sister, Pajapati Gotami)...right? Right? Wrong.
Intention (cetana) matters. It is the basis of karma (deeds, actions). What was Prince Siddhartha thinking to drop out like that? (Where was he going to tune in and turn on?) We know from the ancient texts of the Pali canon that his wife knew where he was, how he was, and why he was doing it. So well did she know that she copied him. When he ate only one meal and slept on the ground and wore saffron, she took up these things. We impute to her how we would feel if we had been abandoned after giving birth, and this is completely wrong and misleading. The Los Angeles area monk Ven. Walpola Piyananda understands the matter so well that, together with Stephen Long, he tried to correct all the misconceptions in his book Thus We Heard - Recollections of the Life of The Buddha.
I'm hitting the road on a quest.
Siddhartha's intention, motivation, impulse to leave was to find "salvation" from suffering for everyone -- his father, his mother(s), his wife, his son, his family, his friends, his people, and all living beings, particularly the humans and devas. He didn't go to go forever. He went until he was successful. It took him seven years to do what he had to do (to accomplish what it means to be a "supremely awakened" "Buddha," which is different from an arahant or paccekabuddha). He had to attain full realization (maha bodhi), make known the path to enlightenment, which entailed preaching the Dhamma (Dharma exclusive to buddhas), and establish a Sangha (community) of successful practitioners, disciples capable of memorizing, chanting, and teaching that Dharma.
Mom, where's Dad? - That deadbeat?
As soon as he did that, he came back. How old was his son when he returned to Kapilavatthu (Gandhara, Afghanistan, Saka Land)? His son, Rahula, was 7. His former wife had not remarried even though she could have and was encouraged to. The family had not moved on -- his father having sent many messengers to bring his son back to rule the Sakas/Shakyas/Indo-Scythians and to find news of him. The only thing that had changed was that the son's son was now the prince. Rahula was now being raised to lead. The Buddha didn't think that was much of a legacy to leave his son. Instead, he gave him his grand inheritance worthy of a buddha: He had him ordain as a monastic, stayed by him, and brought him to enlightenment.
Son Rahula became Ven. Rahula and enlightened. Wife Yasodhara became a nun (Ven. Rahulamata) and enlightened, the fiercest disputant in all the land able to debate anyone and win. FatherKing Suddhodana became an Aryan ("noble") disciple, attaining one or more of the stages to enlightenment. Mother Queen (Maha) Pajapati Gotami (Prajapati Gautami) became the world's first Buddhist nun and enlightened.
Many Scythians/Shakyian princes and princesses entered the Monastic Sangha and gained realization -- and the Buddha opened up that possibility to everyone, creating a Noble Sangha that was far larger than the Monastic Sangha we all imagine to be the "disciples" of the Buddha. It may have included 80,000 people, but it certainly included countless millions of devas. The Buddha is popularly known not only as the "Master Physician" but also as the "Teacher of Gods and Men" (of devas and humans).
Does that sound like a hippie on the Hippie Trail gallivanting around India with no job, doing nothing, leaving his wife, abandoning his son, sticking a choice finger in the direction of a loving and overprotective father and doting foster mother? The Buddha didn't forget his biological mother (Maha Maya) or even his previous mother in many lives (a woman the texts simply refer to as Mata along with her husband, Shakyamuni's father in many previous lives).
Now remember, young man, be a good father.
Wouldn't it have been better if he had stayed home, raised his son, tended to the householder life of the palace, been a dutiful son to his father, and made his mother proud? We wouldn't be talking about him now. He would never have become the Buddha, "the Enlightened One," in that life. But people, Westerners in particular, still want to bellyache, gripe, and air their grievances, full of wrong view, putting down the Great Teacher like they know better how a profitable life is lived.
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