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| "And just to make it interesting... [I'll throw in a few Jerks]" (The Far Side/Gary Larson) |
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| What must God have been thinking? |
It returns us to a sense of sanity like a pleasant reset button. Satire can restore us to sanity.
But one may have to be crazy to begin with. Maybe John Q. Public doesn't need comic strips or distasteful locker room gags, pranks, and jokes. The more highbrow New Yorker material is good, but can anything match Gary Larson's The Far Side?
Maybe all the joking around we do is harmful to monastics who read or watch humorous videos. Monastics keep a strict discipline and many rules, whereas lay Buddhists strive to adhere to five (daily), eight (weekly lunar observance), or ten (intensive retreat) precepts. We should be more sensitive to the limits of humor to help us cope, seeing as how in the following sutra they could lead a wobbly monastic to give it a rest and take a break when it would be far better to continue until insight and enlightenment.
SUTRA: "Crickets"
Charles Patton — 支離彌梨 (trans.), Crickets Sutra (AN III_utf8), suttacentral.net; Amber Larson and Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly
Thus have I heard. At one time, the Buddha traveled to the city of Rājagṛha (Rajgir, India) and stayed at Kalandaka Park in Veḷuvana Grove.
A group of monastics had gathered in the meeting hall after their midday meal. They wanted to settle an argument about the Doctrine and Discipline (Dhamma-Vinaya) taught by the Buddha.
At the time, the monk Citra Hastisāriputra was present in the assembly.
- Citra called Hatthirohaputta (Citta Hatthi-sāriputta) was an elder (thera), the son of an elephant trainer, who having entered the Monastic Order, studied with the Buddha and gained special proficiency in distinguishing subtle differences in the meanings of words. Six times he left the Order and six times returned. His last quarrel was with Ven. Mahā Kotthita Thera, who objected to his constant interruptions of the elder's discussions regarding the Abhidhamma. (This incident is recorded at A.iii.392ff).
When that Citra discussed the Doctrine and Discipline taught by the Buddha, he argued with others around him, but what he had to say did not help the monastics teaching Dharma to consummate it. Nor did he ask questions of senior monastics respectfully and with etiquette.
Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila, who was also present in that assembly, then addressed Citra:
“Good sir, know that when a group of monastics is discussing the Doctrine and Discipline taught by the Buddha, you ought not interrupt to argue with what they say. When they are finished with what they are saying, then afterward you may speak. Ask questions of the senior and elders respectfully in accord with good etiquette. Refrain from asking questions of them that are disrespectful or not in accord with good etiquette.”
Citra’s friends were also present in the assembly at the time. They then said to Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila, “Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila, do not rebuke the monk Citra Hastisāriputra because he is virtuous and well-versed. He might appear indolent, but do not be arrogant. Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila, Citra can assist the monastics when the time is right.”
Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila then said to Citra’s friends, “Good sirs, those who do not know the minds of others cannot speak falsely when they praise or dispraise them because perhaps there is a person who is conscientious, modest, affectionate, and respectful when he is in the presence of the Buddha (Bhagavān "Blessed One") or senior and elder practitioners of this spiritual life. He is then well-guarded and well-protected. Suppose later he is not in the presence of the Buddha or the senior and elder practitioners of the spiritual life with whom he is conscientious, modest, affectionate, and respectful.
“He often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways. After often meeting with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways, his mind readily becomes desirous.
“After his mind becomes desirous, his body and mind become obsessed. After his body and mind become obsessed, he discards the precepts and takes a break from the Path.
“Good sirs, he is like a cow that wanders into someone’s field, and the person guarding that field stops it. Maybe he ties it up, or perhaps he corrals it in a pen. Good sirs, if someone says that this cow will no longer wander into another’s field, would that person be right to say that?”
They answered, “No because if that cow is tethered with a rope, it might break loose or become untied. If it is confined by a corral, it might break through or jump over it. It will go into another’s field just as before.”
“Good sirs, perhaps there is a person who is conscientious, modest, affectionate, and respectful when he is in the presence of the Buddha or senior and elder practitioners of the spiritual life. One is then well-guarded and well-protected. Suppose later that person is not in the presence of the Buddha or practitioners of the spiritual life with whom he is conscientious, modest, affectionate, and respectful.
“He often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways. After he has often met with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways, his mind readily becomes desirous. After his mind becomes desirous, his body and mind become obsessed. After his body and mind become obsessed, he discards the precepts and takes a break from the path. Good sirs, this is one kind of person.
“Furthermore, good sirs, perhaps there is a person who attains the first meditative absorption (jhana, dhyāna, zen, chan, seon). After that person attains the first absorption, that person abides calmly and no longer seeks to obtain desires as yet unobtained, to seize desires as yet unseized, or to consummate desires as yet unconsummated.
“After that, he often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways. After he has often met with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways, his mind readily becomes desirous. After his mind becomes desirous, his body and mind become obsessed. After his body and mind become obsessed, he discards the precepts and takes a break from the path.
“Good sirs, it is like when there is a rainstorm. The lakes and ponds between villages fill up with water. Where once sand, stones, weeds, trees, crustaceans, fish, turtles, frogs, and other water creatures were seen when people came and went or stood nearby, none are seen after they fill up with water.
“Good sirs, if someone were to say that the sand, stones, weeds, trees, crustaceans, fish, turtles, frogs, and other water creatures in those lakes and ponds will never be seen again when people come and go or walk and stand nearby, would he be right to say that?”
They answered, “No because the water in those lakes and ponds will recede later because elephants, horses, camels, cattle, donkeys, pigs, deer, or water buffalo will drink it, or people will take it, or the wind and sun will dry it up [by evaporation]. Where before sand, stones, weeds, trees, crustaceans, fish, turtles, frogs, and other water creatures were seen when people came and went or walked and stood nearby, they will be seen again after the water recedes.”
“So it is, good sirs. Perhaps there is a person who attains the first absorption. After he attains the first absorption, he abides calmly and no longer seeks to obtain desires as yet unobtained, to seize desires as yet unseized, or to consummate desires as yet unconsummated.
“After that, he often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways. After they have often met with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways, his mind readily becomes desirous.
“After his mind becomes desirous, his body and mind become obsessed. After his body and mind become obsessed, he discards the precepts and takes a break from the path. Good sirs, this is called another person.
“Furthermore, good sirs, perhaps there’s a person who attains the second absorption. After he attains the second absorption, he abides calmly and no longer seeks to obtain desires as yet unobtained, to seize desires as yet unseized, or to consummate desires as yet unconsummated. After that, he often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways.
“After he has often met with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways, his mind readily becomes desirous. After his mind becomes desirous, his body and mind become obsessed. After his body and mind become obsessed, he discards the precepts and takes a break from the path.
“Good sirs, it is like when there is a rainstorm and the dirt at the crossroads turns to mud. Good sirs, if someone were to say that the mud at the crossroads will never dry up and turn back to dirt, would he be right to say that?”
They answered, “No because the crossroads will be walked upon by elephants, horses, camels, cattle, donkeys, pigs, deer, water buffalo, and people. The wind will blow on it, and the sun will bake it. After the mud at the crossroads has dried up, it will turn back into dirt.”
“So it is, good sirs. Perhaps there is a person who attains the second absorption. After he attains the second absorption, he abides calmly and no longer seeks to obtain desires as yet unobtained, to seize desires as yet unseized, or to consummate desires as yet unconsummated. After that, he often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways. ...
“Good sirs, it is like an undisturbed place where the chirping of crickets is heard. That undisturbed place might be a king’s or a royal minister’s overnight lodging. The sound of elephants, horses, carts, footsteps, conches, drums, slim-waisted drums, dancing girl drums, music, singing, lutes, and feasting causes the chirping crickets to no longer be heard.
"Good sirs, suppose someone were to say that the chirping crickets will never be heard again at that undisturbed place. Would they be right to say that?”
Citra’s friends answered, “No because after a night has passed and the sun rises, that king or royal minister will return home. The sounds of elephants, horses, carts, footsteps, conches, drums, slim-waisted drums, dancing girl drums, music, singing, lutes, and feasting that caused the chirping crickets to no longer be heard will be gone after that. Then the crickets will be heard as they were before.”
“So it is, good sirs. Perhaps there is a person who obtains the samādhi without conceptual thought. After he attains the samādhi without conceptual thought, he abides calmly and no longer seeks to obtain desires as yet unobtained, to seize desires as yet unseized, or to consummate desires as yet unconsummated. After that, he often meets with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways.
"After he has often met with white-robed laypeople who joke with each other, are arrogant, and clamor in various ways, his mind readily becomes desirous. After his mind becomes desirous, his body and mind become obsessed. After his body and mind become obsessed, he discards the precepts and takes a break from the path. This is called another person.”
Soon after that, the monk Citra Hastisāriputra abandoned the precepts and took a break from the path.
After he abandoned the precepts and took a break from the path, those friends of that monk Citra went to Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila.
When they arrived, they said to him, “Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila, you knew the mind of the monk Citra Hastisāriputra and made us aware of these other matters because he has now abandoned the precepts and taken a break from the path.”
Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila told his friends, “Good sirs, these matters should indeed be so because it was because he did not truly know and did not truly see.”
Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila spoke thus. Those monastics who heard what Ven. Mahākauṣṭhila taught rejoiced and approved of it.
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- Source: MA 82: 支離彌梨—Charles Patton (suttacentral.net) (Pali: AN III_utf8); Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly
