Football: match to feature Kitty Purry (video)

Editors, Wisdom Quarterly; Key of Awesome; Katy Perry; Brian Tuohy

OMG, did someone deflate Brady's balls or pump up Katy Perry's whip cream canisters?

Unless we add the word ads, we are not allowed to say "Super Bowl" ads. And songstress "Katy (Catty) Perry" is probably off limits, too, so we refer to her feline best friend, which is what we think her name means anyway, Kitty Purry. Is it okay to say "football" or "Big Game"?

Probably not, so we go with what the world calls the gridiron game when no hands are allowed which, of course, is the "right" way to play it. Because there is only one way to do anything right. And as this game teaches us, "might makes right," so whoever has the most might gets to define what the "right" way is. Just ask the military or local police department.
 

We hope no one is gambling because, as with national elections, The Fix Is In. Big sporting events are rigged, which means billions in profits when done legally. If wagering is done in private, which is illegal, then all the stats sportsmen love so much will hardly help. And the women who love them, rolling their eyes, would rather keep that money for something else, like buying this book.

A Take of Two Questions (Andrew Kirschner/facebook.com/veganismisthefuture)

"I ordered a slab of bloody muscle, tendons, bone, and veins - and there's a hair in it! (BC)

• Organic and Natural Expo, Los Angeles