To clarify, Trump is not "farting" in court. He is defecating (making feces) in his pants and/or adult diaper, which he regularly wears according to Noel Casler, because he is a drug addict who for years snorted cocaine and now daily snorts Adderall. Stimulants have a laxative effect, so he is chronically incontinent (unable to hold his feces and flatulence). To fart and go in his adult diaper less, he has been ingesting less of his drug of choice to not have to go as often, which has had the embarrassing effect of making him terribly sleepy. He is an exhausted old man, who wears a girdle, also according to Casler, is losing his hair, suffers from skin problems, which he attempts to hide behind massive amounts of makeup, which make the ginger appear like a buffoon who's nearly human. The Supreme Court agrees to hear and rule on his immunity claims before throwing them out and having him become subject to arrest. What can those he installed on the court, like fellow unindicted rapist Justice Kavanaugh, do for him now? Delay a ruling until after the election?
Don "The Toot Fairy" Trump in court, men think he respects women, his VP candidate shoots her puppy and horses
I'm snorting less to sh*t less, so I'm sleepier.
(Jimmy Kimmel Live) April 29, 2024: Trump is reportedly miserable at his trial, he wishes his show-wife Melania happy birthday from outside his trial for cheating on her with a porn star prostitute, he was in Miami to meet with his favorite punching bag, groveling Gov. Ron DeSantis, Eric Trump made an appearance on Fox News to try and help his father out but did more to hurt him, Don the John posted about RFK Jr. five different times over the weekend, boxer Ryan Garcia got an invite to Mar-a-Lago, the NFL draft wrapped up, and there were some excellent interview moments, South Dakota Governor and current Trump VP candidate Kristi Noem admitted to murdering her dog gunshot along with several other farm animals, including three horses, a majority of men think that Trump respects women, and the monologue is interrupted by a woke young feminist man in the audience who also respects women deeply. #Kimmel
Trump livid about Trial, can’t stop farting or falling asleep in Court and makes insane second term proclamations
(Jimmy Kimmel Live) April 30, 2024: According to a new report from The Washington Post Americans are sleeping more than ever, Don John Trump can’t stop falling asleep in court, Eric attended daddy’s trial today, the first witness of the day was Michal Cohen’s former banker Gary Farro, the judge found Trump to be in contempt of court for violating his gag order nine times, The Washington Post published a story that says Trump is so furious about the trial he’s too livid to fundraise, he has been very cold in court, he is getting May 17th off so he can go to Barron’s high school graduation, we’re getting an idea of what four more years of Trump might look like, Travis Kelce signed a two-year contract extension with the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift is now the first artist in history to occupy all of the Top 14 spots on Billboard’s Hot 100, and California Governor Gavin Newsom (Josh Meyers) is working on new propositions that actually benefit the Golden State. #Kimmel
What was that, Mr. Trump? - He who smelt it dealt it, Judge, so you should know, you SOB.
Trump FARTS in open court and stews over Jimmy K, Guillermo grinds with Madonna
Adderall makes me incontinent
(Jimmy Kimmel Live) April 22, 2024: Opening arguments began this morning in the People of the State of New York vs. Donald Jessica Trump, he posted little bursts of lunacy on Truth Social in protest, his lawyers made it clear that they are going to continue to try to deny that Trump had sex with porn star Stormy Daniels (and paid her $130,000 to keep quiet about the sex they didn't have), Trump is rumored by many to be farting in the courtroom.
[According to family friend and longtime TV co-worker Noel Casler, Trump defecates (makes feces) in his pants and adult diapers. Listen to Casler's in-depth knowledge of Trump's explosive and foul smelling bowels:]
But there’s no way to prove it, so please don’t repost this video out of context with dumb captions like “The Shart of the Deal” or “Gassolini,” Farting Donny has reportedly been stewing in private over everything from the ugly look of sketches of him in court to Jimmy making fun of him every night on ABC TV, New York Times reporter Susanne Craig wrote that Trump is STILL having trouble staying awake during the trial and nods off constantly.
I smell bad, wear a girdle, am bald and diseased
(The world will hear testimony from Trump's old friend David Pecker tomorrow), Taylor Swift’s album dropped over the Earth Day weekend and Jimmy was confused about a bumper sticker he saw, and Guillermo traveled to Mexico City over the weekend as a special guest of the singer Madonna who pulled him up on stage at her concert for gay sexual activity.
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It's one thing to hate Trump, another to like Biden
Taylor Swift will be vilified by millions of [MAGAot] Americans and risk her own safety if she endorses [senile Genocidal] Joe Biden in the 2024 election, a top talent agent has warned.
The Love Story singer’s fame has reached dizzying heights in the months since she began dating Kansas City Chiefs player Travis Kelce ("TrayLor" couple name), with pictures of their pitch-side kiss reverberating around the world last month.
In the buildup to 2024’s Super Bowl today, there has been more discussion about how Swift, 34, will have had to cross nine time-zones after her Saturday night show in Tokyo, Japan, to make it to Las Vegas in time for kick-off of football's biggest game, than there has been about the rival teams’ quarterbacks.
I order you to stay out of it, you red b, uh, witch.
Amid speculation of her impending support for Genocide Joe Biden, Don John Trump’s allies were said to be plotting a “holy war” against the star.
It sparked right-wing conspiracy theories including claims Swift is a secret Pentagon agent and her relationship with football player Travis Kelce has been fabricated to bolster Biden.
The conspiracy theory says she's an unwitting CIA operative who's going to make a big announcement today at the Big Game, aka the Great Plate, and encourage her legions of sycophantic followers to vote for war and more war, vote for senility, vote to fund more genocide, vote for our child molester in chief Genocidal Joe. Will she do it? (Yes, but probably not today. Today is a day for all the bookies and bettors to rake in billions because THE FIX IS IN. All professional sports betting is tampered with.
Vote for Biden, and I will destroy you, Swift
Therefore, since everyone is so sure the San Franciso 49ers are going to lose and betting by how much, wouldn't it be much more profitable to have Travis (Kansas Chiefs No. 1 social media star) throw the game? Or something to upset millions of bettors? It happens time and time again.
Tell them to vote for me, Nazi Barbie, uh, Taylor.
While most of the money this year is on side bets like what color "Nazi Barbie" will be wearing at the game (red) or how many times the camera will cut to her (101 times), or will she fart and say excuse me to Travis' mother before halftime (yes but a silent but deadly one with no need for an excuse me until Mrs. Kelce catches wind, but which time it will be too late), for example.
Don't bet if U know what's good for U The FIX IS IN. The game is rigged.
I bake for who I want to, Mr. Donald. You won't tell me how to vote! I might endorse Nikki.
Don't worry, Joe. You're part of the Illuminati. The fix is in, no matter what Swift does.
How to watch the Big Game (Super Bowl 58) for free online: paramountplus.com
From Fart God to farting out one’s soul: The historic ritualization of flatulence
They command attention, bring silence into noisy environments, and have been associated with the utterances of gods for thousands of years. In fact, entire rituals have been designed around them. Farts. Who would believe it?
The spiritualization of farting was not restricted to northern latitudes. Specialist in the history of gastric wind Prof. Valerie Allen wrote the groundbreaking book On Farting: Language and Laughter in the Middle Ages, in which we learn that most medieval theologians recorded farting as “the product of decomposition…the mark of death.”
Manichaeism was a mystical religion based on dualistic principals that at one time claimed to have had St. Augustine among its members. He believed farts were the act of "freeing divine light from the body” and St. Augustine also referred to people who could produce odorless “musical sounds” like “singing” from their behinds.
The philosopher Pythagoras believed the soul (pneuma) was breath [spiritus, prana], and because a fart was a sort of breath, as he was struggling with the mechanics of trigonometry, he was also concerned that if a person pushed hard enough they might “fart out his or her soul.”
The ancient origins of “fart fearing” is better understood when we consider that several wars having been directly provoked by farts. In Book II Chapter XI of Josephus’ Wars of the Jews we are told it was a “randomly presented fart” that set off a chain of events that led to the revolt against the 6th century King Apries of Egypt.
He wrote “an irreverent Roman soldier lowered his pants, bent over,” and “spoke such words as you might expect upon such a posture.” A steely silence spread over Jerusalem and because the unforeseen incident took place shortly before the Passover, a riot broke out to capture the farter “that led to the deaths of over 10,000 people.”
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Hegassen scroll detail of a "Fart Battle," 1864, Japanese art (wikimedia)
Interestingly, what is considered by many historians to be the oldest joke in the world is a fart joke. An ancient Sumerian proverb dated to about 1900 BC reads:
“Something which has never
occurredsince time immemorial:
a young woman did not
fart in her husband’s lap.”
[Modern Christian fart joke told in the style of a Confucian aphorism: “Man who fart in church sit in his own pew.”]
Historian Robert Bartlett in 2000 published England Under the Norman and Angevin Kings, 1075-1225, in which he told the story of Roland le Sarcere, also known as "Roland the Farter."
This court minstrel to King Henry II of England did a famous dance that ended with the execution of “a jump, a whistle, and a fart.”
For his anal accomplishments, Roland was gifted a manor house in Suffolk with 100 acres of land. Roland’s fart act was so beloved that subsequent chroniclers repeated his story and expanded his biography, “a process that inadvertently extended his lifespan to 120 years.”
For thousands of years, the ancestors of the Mushuau Innu (or Montagnais) people inhabited the northeastern portion of the present-day province of Quebec (above the state of Maine) and parts of the eastern portions of Labrador, known as Nitassinan (“Our Land”).
Scholar Marie Wadden, in her 1991 book The Innu Struggle to Reclaim Their Homeland tells us, “The people trapped moose, caribou, deer, and small game, and they also farmed and fished.”
The native Innu people (DER) Slow genocide: Ruined life of First Nations people of Labrador, Canada, the Mushuau Innu
The Innu have an odd god. Their language is known as Innu-ainum, part of the "Cree" language group (Algonquian). Speakers of this language worship a range of hunting- and animal-gods [kami], while paying homage to animal spirits.
In 1987 American researcher Peter Armitage wrote "Religious Ideology Among the Innu of Eastern Quebec and Labrador.” In it he studied the Innu god Matshishkapeu ("The Farting God" or, lit., the "Fart Man") and commented on his “unusual omnipresence,” which makes him unique among mythological beings:
“He is everywhere, both inside the tent and outside; he is always with you no matter where you may travel.”
Although Matshishkapeu existed everywhere, he was best known to the Innu as the “fart god,” and this “spirit of the anus [rectum or colon] conversed with the Innu with great frequency” especially while hunting, trapping, fishing, and gathering (Armitage, 1987).
Matshishkapeu was a humorous god, and his “popping up,” was an important source of laughter to the Innu while facing the life-threatening hunt, but he was also thought of as one of the most powerful spirits, able to control the “Caribou Master, as well as humans.”
Matshishkapeu was the most powerful spirit in the Innu world, and he often roared when “the Caribou Master refused to give the Innu caribou to eat.” Scholar B. C. Goddard wrote Rangifer and Man: An ancient relationship in 2003 and observed that within Innu myths, Matshishkapeu “cursed the Caribou Master with constipation and then cured him of his ailment.”
Furthermore, Armitage noted in his 1987 paper that “Matshishkapeu’s utterances are usually cryptic,” according to what “an Innu hunter said.”
Legends and myths state “that you have to concentrate hard in order to understand what is being said,” but “every single fart,” no matter how glorious or humble was believed to be Matshishkapeu giving an important message.
A sudden unannounced rumble required immediate translation. And a surprise fart, delivered at an inappropriate time, interrupting the tranquility of camp life, called for a specialist interpreter who questioned all the witnesses and let everyone know what the fart was saying. More
(CBC) First Nations "Land and Sea: Mushuau Innu," circa 1970
Universals like renewal and rebirth unite many spiritual traditions (deseretnews)
(USA Today/AP) Friday begins a special annual period in Buddhism called Ohigan -- "the other shore gathering," or enlightenment -- when Buddhists in Japan go to their family's graveyards to [pay respects] on behalf of their ancestors and relatives. Most temples throughout Japan also hold Ohigan ceremonies during spring and autumnal equinoxes to express gratitude for being awakened to wisdom and compassion. This spring, of course, Ohigan holds additional meaning. Japan is reeling from death and destruction wrought by an 9.0-magnitude earthquake and subsequent tsunami [and ongoing nuclear fallout as of] last Friday. The official death toll is more than 5,000. Another 8,000 people are reported missing. Much of the northeast corner of the country is a graveyard. More>>
The basic Buddhist holidays in Japan include Ohigan, which means crossing over to the Further Shore (nirvana). One is therefore liberated from the troubles of This Shore -- impermanence, emptiness, and disappointment. The holiday is traditionally observed during the spring and fall equinoxes when the weather is more pleasant and people are better able to rest and reflect. The historical Buddha reached the Further Shore and showed humankind the means of crossing over (o-) from this ocean of darkness to that state of light (enlightenment). The route to that shore (-higan) has six pathways (Japanese, haramitsu;Sanskrit, paramitas, "perfections"). They are forms of merit and self-development:
A stellar explosion has smashed the record for most distant object in the known universe.
The gamma-ray burst came from about 13 billion light-years away, and represents a relic from when the universe was just 630 million years old.
"It easily surpassed the most distant galaxies and quasars," said Edo Berger, an astrophysicist at Harvard University and a leading member of the team that first demonstrated the burst's origin. "In fact, it showed that we can use these spectacular events to pinpoint the first generation of stars and galaxies."
"The burst most likely arose from the explosion of a massive star," said Derek Fox, an astrophysicist at Penn State University. "We're seeing the demise of a star — and probably the birth of a black hole — in one of the universe's earliest stellar generations."
Gamma-ray bursts mark the dying explosion of large stars that have run out of fuel. The collapsing star cores form either black holes or neutron stars that create an intense burst of high-energy gamma-rays and form some of the brightest explosions in the early universe.
A light-year is the distance that light can travel in a year, or about 6 trillion miles (10 trillion kilometers). So astronomers are seeing this particular burst as it existed 13 billion years ago, because... More>>
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