This book is a courageous account of one woman’s unflinching and ultimately hopeful journey through
sex and porn addiction.
A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships, and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts [from the abuse of intoxicants] to blunt the shame -- these are not things we often hear women share publicly.
But Erica Garza brings them with candor, eloquence, and introspection in
Getting Off.
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| It all started with...[Roman Catholic] shame. |
What sets this account apart from a typical memoir is the absence of any [memory of a] precipitating trauma.
There was nothing beyond the garden variety of hurt we’ve all endured in simply becoming a person -- reckoning with family, learning to be social, integrating what it means to be sexual.
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| Lana Del Rey can sing the soundtrack. |
Whatever violence or abuse Erica Garza’s life took on through
sex addicted behavior was of her own making -- fueled by guilt, fear, loneliness, self-pity, self-loathing, and the hopelessness these feelings bring on.
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| Yes, girls watch porn and get addicted. |
It happens as she runs from one side of the world to the other in an effort to break her habits -- gong from
East Los Angeles to
Buddhist Southeast Asia, through
the brothels of Bangkok and the
yoga studios of Bali, to disappointing stabs at therapy and
12-step programs back home in the USA.
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| It sucks, it sucks bitter b*lls to be an addict. |
In these remarkable pages she draws an evocative, studied portrait of the anxiety that fuels her obsessions, as well as the exhilaration and hope she begins to feel when she suspects she might be free of them.
Yet, there is no false or prepackaged sense of redemption here. Even her relationship with the man she will ultimately marry seems credibly, painfully rocky as it finds its legs with several false starts.
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| [The Buddha was right about sex] |
Her increasing sense of self-acceptance and peace by journey’s end feels utterly earned and free of recovery platitudes.
In exploring
American and Mexican-American cultural taboos surrounding sex and porn from a female perspective, she offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact of Internet culture.
Look Inside the Book
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| Speak up. I landed on my feet. It pays to be light-skinned (colorism) for any race. |
Also on the audio: Priscilla Villarreal, who calls herself “Lagordiloca,” has become a highly controversial social media sensation in the North American border city of Laredo, Texas. Each night Lagordiloca drives through the streets of Laredo chasing and live-streaming violent crime scenes, accidents, and immigration raids. Latino USA goes on a ride-along with Lagordiloca. Plus La Chamba talks about their cover of 1979 classic chicha song, “Cariñito.”
This book is a courageous account of one woman’s unflinching and ultimately hopeful journey through sex and porn addiction.
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