Rosé poses with blonde curly hair, gazing at the camera for her solo album cover Rosie
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Bruno Mars is a second-rate drummer but a darn good singer as he tries to outshine a phenom named Rose (New Zealander/South Korean of K-Pop supergroup Blackpink) in "APT." a mega hit that deserves a listen or is worthy of being put on rotation for constant replay. Step aside, Princess Olivia, and never mind, Consort Doja. Wow, Rose is a rocker with her brash pronunciations and catchy lyricism. It's like she swallowed Britney's spunk with a Shakirachaser.
If one can portray self-assurance, then we’re automatically more attractive (Getty Images/Metro).
In a world of failed first dates, we can often find ourselves wondering what we can do to seem more attractive. We aren’t talking about physically. After all, looks are just a small part of what makes someone hot.
We’re talking about how we behave, the words we say, and the body language we display. There’s one quality that psychotherapists say is the key to making someone fancy us. That trait? Self-assurance.
Is anyone saying it’s foolproof? No. There’s always a chance that even when we’re our best self, we’re still not someone’s cup of tea – but that’s that person loss. Even so, if we display self-assurance on a date, it’s more likely our love interest is going to think we’re hot stuff.
Self-assurance means we’re comfortable in ourselves, which makes us attractive (Getty/Metro)
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I let my fingers do the walking when I'm online.
Relational psychotherapist Claire Law tells Metro.co.uk: “In a relationship sense, self-assurance is a green flag that screams: ‘Hey, I know who I am. I’m comfortable in my own skin.’
“Who wouldn’t want a partner like that? Someone who’s not constantly seeking validation or approval, a self-assured partner [who] won’t be clingy or needy – they’ll have their own thing going on, which is really sexy.”
Self-assurance is also attractive because it hints at other positive qualities people look for in relationships. “These other qualities are emotional maturity, stability, and resilience,’ says Claire. “If you’re self-assured, you’re probably pretty good at managing your emotions, coping with stress, and making decisions. These are all things that make for a solid, healthy relationship.”
It’s all well and good saying we should be self-assured but, if we’re not sure where to start, we’ve got it covered. “Self-assurance is such an attractive quality because it telegraphs a certain attitude to the world. Self-assured people tend to be more at peace with themselves… they’ve made their peace with their strengths and weaknesses,” says Claire.
What are some specific self-assured behaviors on a date? Picture this: You’ve just walked into the place where your first date is, and you’ve given your date a hug or a polite kiss on the cheek. The first thing to make sure you focus on is confident body language. “Stand tall, make eye contact, smile warmly. Don’t fidget or cross your arms. That makes you look closed off and nervous,” explains Claire.
A 2010 study in the journal of Psychological Science found that "power posing" caused behavioral changes for both men and women. By taking up a self-assured and confident stance, participants were found to instantly become "more powerful" – translating into "real-world, actionable implications."
As well as non-verbal cues, there are other things one can do to seem self-assured. "Engage in balanced conversation. Ask your date questions, but also share about yourself. A self-assured person isn’t afraid to open up," Claire says.
Don’t be afraid to express your opinions in a balanced debate (Getty Images/Westend61/Metro)
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While some of us can be shy about sharing our thoughts on a certain topic, because we’re afraid someone will disagree, giving your perspective on an issue is sexy. "Be decisive," Claire adds. "If your date asks for your opinion on something, give it. Don’t hem and haw or say, 'I don’t know. What do you think?' all the time.
"Be willing to respectfully disagree. If you have a different opinion, voice it calmly and confidently. A self-assured person can handle a little friendly debate. "Order what you want, not what you think your date wants you to order. Speak up if you’re uncomfortable."
While it’s nice to be validated by someone we’re attracted to, Claire says, it’s important we don’t seek constant reassurance. "A self-assured person doesn’t need [his or her] date to validate [him or her] at every turn. They’re not fishing for compliments," she adds.
Don’t seek validation or fish for compliments, as this doesn’t imply self-assurance or confidence.
If you do all these things, it’s likely the date has gone well – although always be receptive to feedback if you don’t get the desired response from [the other person].
Lastly, Claire says: "End the date with clear communication. If you want to see them again, say so. If not, politely say you don’t feel a connection. Self-assured people are direct."
If you’re implementing these tips on your next date, just remember that there’s a difference between self-assurance and being big-headed. "It’s about being true to yourself and communicating that authentically. Self-assurance isn’t about putting on an act or being arrogant," Claire says.
"It’s about knowing your worth and embodying that in how you carry yourself and interact with others. And in the wild world of dating, that kind of quiet confidence is incredibly appealing."
Have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk. Get a regular dose of need-to-know lifestyle news and features by signing up Metro's The Fix newsletter.
I'm the hottest! Have you seen my boyfriend Kelce?! He's the best! I've always been beautiful, the most! It just comes natural...well, not always, Britney busted me with the evidence. She posted it without asking, when I was a hog-dog or like a fat tabby cat with wet hair. I'dunno, I'm hot now, so who cares? Haters, suck it!! Taylor Swift unrecognizable in backstage throwback photo shared by Britney Spears
I think I'm more beautiful. I certainly have more followers and views. I'm famous AF.
Not the Buddha: Tibetan yogi
Now that Nazi Barbie (Taylor Swift) has gotten so popular that even Margot Robbie envies her, and Beyonce gets more attention when she lightens her Becky-do hairdo, it's time to wonder if Haley Bennett -- who severely upstaged uncomfortable Drew Barrymore and old man (and former British heartthrob) Hugh Grant -- really could have had a legitimate hit on her hands.
The Monkees weren't a real band, but they did have real hits. A good song's a good song, like "Buddha's Delight."
Hollywood already had its go with Keanu Reeves
It wouldn't be the first time Hollywood did something right. They present an image, and that image gains more currency than the real thing. Just look at hate Californian governor and turncoat Ronnie Reagan. Image carries more weight than substance does. Haley Bennett was beautiful back then, and the ditty was catchy. As if "Buddha Bars" weren't bad enough, can anyone prevent the exploitation of beautiful Buddha statues as elements in pop culture.
What? I guess, technically, I'm a Ginger. Maybe I was an elf in a past life (hotactress.org)
Taylor Swift fans report ‘amnesia' following Eras Tour show
Is MK Britney toxic to kids?
The mysterious phenomenon surrounding Taylor Swift's Eras[e] Tour show [mass worship music concert] and its alleged effects on her devoted fans [has people asking questions].
The powers-that-be have long understood the mesmerizing potential of music, using it as a tool to induce amnesia and alter memories.
I'm the new Britney!
The [pop and rock] concert experience becomes a gateway to manipulation, a hidden ritual that transcends mere entertainment.
Delve into the depths of this enigma, seeker, for the truth lies obscured beneath the surface. Are these reported cases of [induced] "amnesia" mere coincidence, or is there a more sinister [experimental] force at play?
Let's unravel the threads of perception and question the nature of reality itself. The Eras Tour show may hold the key to unlocking the hidden powers of mind control and memory manipulation.
I knew Taylor Swift was full of s**t! (Bart)
Stay aware, resist the siren call of the music, and seek the truth beyond the veils of amnesia. More + VIDEO
ABC News; Ashley Wells, Sheldon S., Dhr. Seven (eds.), Satti Sutra: "The Blade or Spear Discourse" based on Ven. Thanissaro translation (SN 20.5, PTS: S ii 265, CDB i 707), Wisdom Quarterly
(ABC News) Possessed: The Modern Exorcism, Jan. 2011. We go behind the scenes as a Catholic priest casts "demons" out of creepy, possessed American woman Becky Parker (Paulist Productions, Inc.)
I will bend this sharp spear by hand.
Thus have I heard. At one time the Buddha was staying in Savatthi.
There he said, "Meditators, suppose there were a sharp blade (spear), and a person were to say, 'Using only my hand I will bend back this sharp blade, fold it in two, and roll it up.'
"What do you think, Would that person be able to bend it, fold it, and roll it up by hand?"
"No, venerable sir. Sharp blades are difficult to bend, fold, and roll up. That person would reap only weariness and vexation."
I will infest, possess your mind. Mwah ha ha.
"In the same way, meditators, when a meditator's liberation through loving-kindness (metta) is cultivated, pursued, developed, handed the reins, made a basis, grounded, steadied, consolidated, and skillfully undertaken, if any nonhuman beings were to think of possessing that meditator's mind, they would only reap weariness and vexation.
"So train yourselves, 'Our [heart's] liberation through loving-kindness will be cultivated, pursued, developed, handed the reins, made a basis, grounded, steadied, consolidated, and skillfully undertaken. Train yourselves in this way."
Wisdom Quarterly (April 2011) Ke$ha wrote the lyrics, Britney Spears sings them. Their advice for the end of the world? "Just dance." Translation: Don't pay attention. Add, "Make a lot of good karma," and we agree.
What if the world ends? What if it doesn't? The "world" as we know it is a series of rapidly forming and disintegrating moments. Because we do not pay close enough attention, we do not normally notice the incessant rise and fall of physical and mental phenomena. But together they form the "world." So long as there is life, there is rising and falling. This is not only true on the subatomic level, it is true on the level of history and our lives. It cannot be otherwise in the world of composite things. All things are things, composed of other things. There is only one exception -- nirvana. Liberation from all suffering is no plane (loka), condition (ayatana), heaven (sagga), or immaterial sphere (arupa loka), and yet it is not "nothingness" (akincanyayatanaupaga). What then is there to worry about? Only ignorance. The ultimate truth sets one free, whereas ignorance means bondage, incessant rebirth, and suffering. The only thing between one and the truth is a lack of absorbed-concentration (serenity) and wisdom (liberating-insight). Otherwise, change is the only constant.
Amber Dorrian, Ashley Wells, CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly (ENTERTAINMENT)
In a shockingly candid prediction, addiction medicine specialist, TV and Loveline Radio host Dr. Drew Pinsky said Lindsay Lohan, fresh off channeling Marilyn Monroe for $1 million for Playboy, will be dead in a year. Lohan seems intent on proving him right.
With little recovery under her belt, she has a new dysfunctional lesbian partner in Indrani and seems to be partying with the new money from her pornographic efforts. (10 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship). Oh, that Luóhàn, will she never get back to being like Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, and Britney Trawick (see below)?
From North Dakotan conservative roots to his west coast activism and the Occupy Movement, Steve Gelder of "Independent Thinking" discusses current events and breaking topics. Every show provides many points of view. Weekday mornings at 10:00 am PST. A voice of reason in an unreasonable world! Wisdom Quarterly contributor Laura Murphy plans to be on to discuss activism and spirituality in Los Angeles.
Newly engaged Britney Spears is bound for Sin City (Las Vegas) bound. Oops, she's about to do it again, this time with new fiancé, Jason Trawick. Her boyfriend does not approve. They will celebrate the engagement at a private party at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino. Who is Trawick, and why is sometimes dimly lit Brit Brit so willing to travel down the same road as Kevin Federline took her on? More
(AT) Self-immolation tests China. The self-immolation of Tibetans in China overwhelmingly suggests the failure of minority policy carved out by the People’s Republic of China (PRC) to deal with the ethnic nationality question in the 1950s. The failure is particularly significant as it comes on the heels of the so called revised policy decision on Tibet in 2010 underscored in the Tibet Work Report that called for harmonious development in Tibet. More
[When you're trying to conceal and discredit UFO sighting to avoid exopolitics, it's not hard to come up with a list of alternative explanations to give you plausible deniability for all kinds of celestial phenomena you want to keep secret:] It doesn't take much to convince people they've seen an experimental missile [instead of] a UFO. A funny-looking cloud, [a Russian spy drone], or an exceptionally bright planet will usually do the trick. Here, our top 7 things that drive space-related hoaxes. More
Bradley Manning seen in better days with a self-made equality poster. In late May 2010, Private First Class Bradley Manning, an intelligence analyst with the US Army in Baghdad, Iraq was arrested, suspected of providing the “Collateral Murder” video to WikiLeaks. On June 6, 2010, he was charged with violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice, including eight criminal offenses and four noncriminal violations of Army regulations (full charge sheet). Why did the Army keep trusting him in the meantime? More
The irony! Peter Van Buren , a 23-year foreign service officer with the US Department of State, may be the only department personnel to be fired over the WikiLeaks’ scandal. Van Buren, who just published the book, We Meant Well: How I Helped Lose the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Iraqi People, relayed in a powerful column at TomDispatch how he was called in, interrogated, and accused of disclosing classified material.More
CC Liu, Pat Macpherson, Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly
MICHAEL JACKSON DOCTOR FOUND GUILTY
First Herman "Koch" Cain, now this. Child music idol Justin Bieber is being accused of having gone "all the way" -- possibly against his will, certainly without his consent. (By law minors are not able to consent to sex, so having sex with them is "statutory rape").
Now someone is pregnant, and baby, baby, baby Bieber is willing to take a paternity test to prove it is not him, uh, his. One thing's sure: former-child star abusing Conrad Murray will not be conducting that test. No comment yet from girlfriend/beard Selena Gomez.
While these allegations would give little Bieber street credentials with Ludacris and the rap/hip-hop underworld (which engages in a lot of secret homosexual activity it justifies as hazing), it would shock and scandalize soccer moms and church groups everywhere.
Was baby Justin, shown here with Ludicrous in possibly the world's most viewed video, statutorily raped by Mariah Laci Yeater (shown below)?
They have already lost former Mouseketeers Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera and with Lindsay Lohan in and out of jail, anti-sex trafficking advocate Ashton Kutcher cheating on Demi, and Drew Barrymore having gotten away with more than all of them (allegedly).
What is our world coming to? Not since the Partridges or Bradys were dating (each other) or Donny and Marie and the Mamas and the Papas seemed a bit too close have the tabloids had so much to wag about. Oh, Justin, say it ain't so!
Britney Spears, while sitting in the front row of the VMAs on Sunday in Los Angeles, had her life-in-music flash before her. Note the shamanistic "mushroom" theme.* Spears was then groped on stage by "Jo Calderone" (aka Lady Gaga), who tried to kiss her. America's sweetheart, the fizzling pop diva, whose latest album is actually her best seller, is getting a boost after years of drugs, ill-advised marriages, and manufactured drama galore. Nun rumors, head shaving, Kevin Federline, it is amazing the world has still not had enough of Brit-Brit. Her beauty, fame, and longevity are no accident. Not only do they make money for many behind the scenes who then protect and promote her public image, but her past life wholesome karma (the Four Bases of Popularity) supports her experience, even as she exhausts her store of merit to no future advantage.
Britney accepts more accolades on stage with manly Lady Gaga (Reuters/dailymail.co.uk)
What wholesome actions (kusala karma) is considered the bases of popularity? Generosity, hospitality, kind speech, and impartiality. These are mentioned, but not elaborated, most famously in the Buddha's "Advice to Householders" (Sigalovada Sutra, DN 31).
*Blonde shamans, like the Scandinavian Sami, depend on mushrooms for visions (BBC).
Buddhist eschatology, as subscribed to by some Buddhist schools, derives from purported Gautama Buddha's prediction that his teachings, the "Dharma," would disappear after 5,000 years.
According to the discourse collection (Sutta Pitaka), the "ten wholesome courses of conduct" will disappear. People will follow the ten unwholesome courses of action -- bad karma that includes murder, violence, theft, sexual misconduct, false speech (perjury, divisiveness, abuse, and idle talk), greed, ill will, and delusion.
Greed manifests as perverted lust and rapacious craving for resources resulting in skyrocketing poverty and the end of compassionate behavior born out of the true Dharma.
How long would the Buddha's teaching last? Signs of corruption were evident in the Buddha's time (e.g., old Subhadda held wrong views, DN 16, 6:28) span of time was expanded to 5,000 years.
Commentators like Ven. Buddhaghosa predicted a step-by-step disappearance of the Buddha's teachings: During the first stage, enlightened beings would no longer appear in the world. Later, the content of the Buddha's true teachings would vanish and only their form would be preserved. Finally, even the form of the Dharma would be forgotten.
During the final stage, the memory of the Buddha himself would be forgotten.
The last of his relics would be gathered together in Bodh Gaya and cremated. Some time [one school says millions of years, another thousands] following this development a new buddha will arise.
The decline of the Dharma (the core of Buddhism) in the world, its disappearance, and its eventual re-establishment by another buddha are in keeping with the general shape of Buddhist cosmology.
Buddhism like Vedic Hinduism teaches that there are cycles of evolution and destruction over the aeons, of which the present epoch represents only the latest step.
The historical Buddha Shakyamuni is only the latest in a series of supremely-enlightened teachers (buddhas) that stretches back into the past. (The Buddha named 29 of these buddhas).
The belief in the decline and disappearance of the true Dharma -- the teaching that successfully leads to enlightenment and nirvana -- in the human world has exerted significant influence in the development of Buddhism since the time of the Buddha.
In Vajrayana Buddhism and various other forms of esoteric Mahayana Buddhism, the use of tantra is rationalized as justifiable by the degenerate state of the present world.
The East Asian belief in the decline of the Dharma (mappo in Japanese) was instrumental in the emergence of Pure Land Buddhism. Within the oldest Theravada Buddhist tradition, debate over whether nirvana was still attainable in the present age helped prompt the creation of the Dhammayutt Monastic Order in Thailand and more importantly as various popular lay Insight-Meditation (Vipassana) movements such as Goenka.
In China, Buddhist eschatology was strengthened by the Taoist influence: The messianic features of Maitreya are widely emphasized. The figure of Prince Moonlight obtains prominence unknown in Sanskrit sources. So one of the T'ang Dynasty apocrypha predicts his rebirth in the female form, thus creating religious legitimacy for the Wu Zetian Empress's usurpation. Making more Taoist associations, the "Sutra of Samantabhadra" portrays Prince Moonlight as dwelling in a cave on Penglai Island.
Buddhist cosmology speaks of incredibly long cycles. During these, the lifespan of human beings lengthens and shortens according to collective human conduct (karma). In the Cakkavati Sutra the Buddha explains the relationship between the lifespan of human beings and behavior. According to this discourse, in the distant past unskillful behavior was unknown among the human race (Aggañña Sutra, DN 27).
Humans devolved from celestial, space-traveling beings (devas). As a result of their generally skillful behavior, people lived for an immensely long time -- 80,000 years -- endowed with great beauty, health, pleasure, and strength. Over time however they began behaving unskillfully. This gradually shortened average lifespan to 100 years, where it now stands. But this is cyclical. It will continue to go down along with human morality until it is 10, with girls reaching sexual maturity at the age of five.
Ultimately, conditions will deteriorate to the point of a "sword-interval." Swords will be wielded by human beings, who will hunt one another. However, a few people will take shelter in the wilderness to escape the carnage. When the slaughter is over, they will come out of hiding and resolve to take up a life of skillful and virtuous conduct again. With the recovery of virtue, the lifespan will gradually increase until it again very gradually reaches 80,000 years, with girls attaining sexual maturity at the age of 500.
According to Tibetan Buddhist literature, the age of the first Buddha (28 buddhas ago) was 100,000 years, and his height was 100 cubits. But the 28th buddha, Siddhartha Gautama (563-483 BCE) lived 80 years, and his height was 20 cubits.
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